I had learned that to be a good woman is to be chaste, and he had learned that to be a good man is to protect a woman’s chastity. Before I went to college, he bought me pepper spray and told me sternly that I needed to carry it to stay safe. Silently wondering how, exactly, pepper spray would have protected me from Arthur that night, I told Yush I’d carry it if he did. He said he didn’t need the spray because he was not a target for sexual violence. While this was statistically true, I didn’t know how to tell him why that burden felt unfair.
