They Called Us Exceptional: And Other Lies That Raised Us

by Prachi Gupta

but I could see how these ideas validated Yush’s insecurities and appealed to his binary approach to problem-solving. The guidelines fed an addictive need for external validation, predicated on internalized feelings of unworthiness and perpetuated by a pressure to conform to impossible societal expectations of the idealized man. For men who are forced to disconnect from their emotional needs and then further alienated by society’s narrow conception of masculinity, the belief that success solves all problems offers a sense of power. It was easier to believe that people would automatically respect someone tall and rich than to accept that no one can ultimately control how others see them. But in this bleak outlook, men turned themselves into products, treating women as a hive mind of consumers. Intimate emotional connection became a myth, condemning all interactions to be transactional. It was a deeply cynical, isolating worldview that reinforced itself, pushing away anyone capable of or interested in authentic connection.