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January 23 - January 24, 2021
They say our lives are shaped not by those who love us but by those who refuse to love us.
“If we don’t learn from our past, ignorance repeats itself in the future,” he informs me.
“Yes, but make no mistake. The past is the past. You are responsible for today,”
The slightest turn of events can turn a peaceful afternoon into a thundercloud of anger and confusion as the entire world crumbles to despair.
It’s not always the person who harms you that you’re angry at, but the person who let it happen.
They say the devil is a skillful liar in that evil is governed by appearances. It may present itself as something good when really it is not. It tempts us, draws us in with a glittering disguise, hooks us, and ultimately pulls us away from our true selves.
No one acknowledges the reasons behind my wrath, only that I am angry.
The loss and profound emptiness resulting from my childhood will eat away at me for years. It is as though someone is chewing away at my stomach until there is nothing left but raw flesh and eventually I fade away.
The wonderful thing about anti-anxiety pills is that I can be at the epicenter of my own personal tragedy and I don’t even know it.
Perhaps my freedom will finally come when I stop hoping for a different childhood, different parents.
