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The solstice is a day when evil magic is strong. Ancient magic, older than the gods. It is a day when things…stir.” The way he said it, stirring sounded absolutely sinister—like it should be a first-degree felony, not something you did to cookie dough.
“Trust me, man,” Jason said. “Snow may be pretty, but up close it’s cold and nasty. We’ll find you a better prom date.”
Exactly how I feel about snow & winter!
“I don’t know,” he said at last. “I guess the other four will show up when the time is right. Who knows? Maybe they’re on some other quest right now.” Leo grunted. “I bet their sewer is nicer than ours.”
If this—princess—is really our friend—” “Oh, I’m better than a friend, my dear,” Her Highness said. “I’m a saleswoman.”
🤣
Now she understood what real sorcery looked like. She’d always thought magic meant wands and fireballs, but this was worse. Medea didn’t just rely on poisons and potions. Her most potent weapon was her voice.
“I’m not good with children,” the god confessed. “Or people. Well, any organic life forms, really. I thought
“Let’s all put our weapons down,” Piper said. “Coach, you first.” Hedge clenched his jaw. “Just one thwack?” “No,” Piper said. “What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.” “No!” Piper insisted. “Meh.” Coach Hedge lowered his club.
Such a vicious nature spirit!
“Roman?” Lit struck again, and Jason deflected his blade. “What is Roman?” “News flash,” Jason said. “While you were dead, Rome defeated Greece. Created the greatest empire of all time.” “Impossible,” Lit said. “Never even heard of them.”
😂
Coach Hedge did a little nature magic—” “Sports medicine.” The coach’s ugly face loomed over her. “Kind of a hobby of mine. Your breath might smell like wild mushrooms and Gatorade for a few days, but it’ll pass. You probably won’t die. Probably.”
“Leave,” Jason ordered. “There’s no food for you here.” “Unless you want tofu burgers,” Leo offered. Lycaon bared his fangs. Apparently he wasn’t a tofu fan.
😂
That little scar on your lip—you tried to eat a stapler when you were two!” Leo laughed. “Seriously?” Hedge nodded like he approved of Jason’s taste. “Staplers—excellent source of iron.”
Oh, satyrs
Thalia stared at him as if he’d just evolved from pond scum. Yeah, he was definitely liking this girl.
“Nah,” Leo assured him. “We were absolutely destined to meet your hot sister.” Thalia ignored him. Probably she just didn’t want to let on how much Leo impressed her.
Over in the Midwest, I’m not sure what St. Louis did to offend Zeus, but you can expect winter storms! Boreas himself is being called down to punish the area with ice. Bad news, Missouri! No, wait. Hephaestus feels sorry for central Missouri, so you all will have much more moderate temperatures and sunny skies.”
Only for central Missouri? Poor northern Missouri 😢
He had a matching yellow broad-brimmed hat, a rose-colored shirt, a baby blue tie, and a blue carnation in his lapel, which Hedge sniffed and then ate.
“Gaea?” Leo shook his head. “Isn’t that Mother Nature? She’s supposed to have, like, flowers in her hair and birds singing around her and deer and rabbits doing her laundry.” “Leo, that’s Snow White,” Piper said. “Okay, but—”
Real life is not a Disney movie, naïve young demigod!
First things first, Leo told himself. Survive today. Figure out crayon drawing of destiny later.
But this wasn’t a movie. Tristan McLean was half dead and about to be eaten. The only people who could stop it—three fashionably dressed teenaged demigods and a megalomaniac goat.
If he couldn’t remember any of his deeds, would they still count? He wondered if the judges would take that into consideration, or if his dad, Zeus, would write him a note: “Please excuse Jason from eternal damnation. He has had amnesia.”
🤣🤣
“Traitor!” Hera shouted. “You meddlesome, D-list goddess!
😂
I can’t believe I thought you were hot.” Khione’s face turned red. “Hot? You dare insult me? I am cold, Leo Valdez. Very, very cold.”
So many bad puns 👍👍
“Phone calls, texting, even browsing the Internet—all these things can attract monsters. Why, just this fall at a school in Cincinnati, we had to rescue a young hero who Googled the gorgons and got a little more than he bargained for, but never mind that.
Chiron’s office had a cluttered, cozy feel. One wall was covered with T-shirts from different conventions—PARTY PONIES ’09 VEGAS, PARTY PONIES ’10 HONOLULU, et cetera. Piper didn’t know who the Party Ponies were, but judging from the stains, scorch marks, and weapon holes in the T-shirts, they must’ve had some pretty wild meetings.
I loooove the party ponies!! 🪩 🕶
cassette tapes labeled “Dean Martin” and “Frank Sinatra” and “Greatest Hits of the 40s.” Chiron was so old, Piper wondered if that meant 1940s, 1840s, or maybe just A.D. 40.
Seriously? She grew up in Hollywood & has no idea who Sinatra is? 😒
A new staff had been hired and personally vetted by Tristan McLean’s “life coach,” Gleeson Hedge.
Coach Hedge, life coach! I love it 🥹
meet your dad’s new assistant.” Hedge was nudged out of the way, and a pretty young lady grinned into the camera. “Mellie?”
Yesss!
LEO HADN’T FELT THIS JUMPY SINCE HE offered tofu burgers to the werewolves.
🤣🤣
