Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight

by Linda Bacon

We eat not because we’re hungry, but because we’re sad, guilty, bored, frustrated, lonely, or angry. And because food can’t take care of our emotions, we eat and eat and never feel satisfied.

This isn’t a conspiracy enacted by men to keep women oppressed; all of us, male and female, participate in reinforcing these social beliefs and standards of beauty, and all of us are damaged by it. Though the damage to women is obvious, we’re less apt to talk about how it also harms the “oppressor.” Think of the loneliness of heterosexual men with their “trophy” wives. Choosing women based on their looks doesn’t allow them true intimacy in relationships. There are huge industries heavily invested in our acceptance of these cultural standards, and they have a big stake in convincing us to conform. The fashion, cosmetics, and diet industries survive by telling us that we are ugly and unacceptable as we are, but if we buy their products we can become beautiful. In other words, they get us to participate in our own oppression! And it seems as if advertisers have recently realized that they were so busy exploiting women’s insecurities that they’d forgotten half the population. So now they’re doing their best to make men feel equally horrible about themselves.

Weight loss is not effective for prolonging life or managing many diseases. Furthermore, we don’t have effective methods for maintenance of weight loss, and health may worsen as people lose and regain weight repeatedly. Ironically, the admonition to lose weight may actually have contributed to the very diseases it is prescribed to cure.

Though a heavy weight may be the result of imprudent lifestyle habits or underlying disease in some individuals, there are also many large people who eat sensibly, exercise regularly, and have excellent health readings—and many thin people who don’t. Regardless, a low weight—or healthy lifestyle habits—shouldn’t be a requisite for respect.

Size is a sloppy and unscientific way to judge someone’s health or character, and the social and medical imperative for a thin body is not only misguided, it has caused much damage. “Normal weight” is neither normal (most people exceed it) nor ideal in terms of health.

Accepting your body is not just about physicality, it’s about accepting who you are, not continuing to wait until you become the person you imagine being.

In my family, we take a few moments to let go of our day and become present with one another by holding hands and enjoying a moment of silence before eating. We use this time in whatever way we find helpful. Sometimes I do a short meditation to empty my mind, other times I focus on my appreciation for what I have, including my family and lovingly prepared food. To foster shared community, my son then asks a question that we all answer. The typical question is “What made you happy today?” We also acknowledge the food, and whoever cooked that night often talks a bit about the ingredients or preparation. An added bonus to all this is that talking helps you eat slower, giving your hunger/satiety signals time to kick in. Which brings me to the next suggestion.