If a person has ever been forgiven for something awful that he has done—and I have been—he knows what being the recipient of forgiveness is all about. He learns that forgiveness is not a single-shot event. It is a process. Someone has been hurt, offended, betrayed, but has chosen not to seek punishment. There is a deep part of us that does not want to forgive. Vengeance is our default reaction to offense. We want another to hurt even as we have been hurt. Thus forgiveness is foreign to the human condition. It has to be learned; it comes with discipline. It is a proactive choice: I will not
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