The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy: Healing the Social Brain (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology)

by Louis Cozolino

When this regression occurs, family members try—consciously and unconsciously—to shape the family in a manner that reduces their own anxiety. The alcoholic needs the problem to go unmentioned, while the family needs to put on a good front to the outside world. Dysfunctional family patterns such as this one sacrifice the growth and well-being of one or more members (often the children) to reduce the overall level of anxiety in the family. The cognitive, emotional, and social world of an alcoholic family is shaped by the avoidance of feelings, thoughts, and activities that expose their shameful secret to conscious awareness and the outside world. The development of the children becomes distorted by the adaptations necessary for their survival within the pathological system. Unfortunately, the roles and rules of the family designed to decrease anxiety maintain the pathologies of some and create new pathologies in others.