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My friend, I’ve been lying all my life. Even when I was telling the truth. I never spoke for the truth, but only for myself, I knew that before, but only now do I see …
you see, it’s exactly like our Russia. These demons who come out of a sick man and enter into swine—it’s all the sores, all the miasmas, all the uncleanness, all the big and little demons accumulated in our great and dear sick man, in our Russia, for centuries, for centuries! Oui, cette Russie que j’aimais toujours.as But a great will and a great thought will descend to her from on high, as upon that insane demoniac, and out will come all these demons, all the uncleanness, all the abomination that is festering on the surface … and they will beg of themselves to enter into swine. And perhaps
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Nothing uglier could be imagined.
I was horrified at this great idle force being spent deliberately on abomination.
In sinning, each man sins against all, and each man is at least partly guilty for another’s sin. There is no isolated sin.
There will be horror on all sides, and, of course, more false than sincere. People fear only what directly threatens their personal interests. I’m not speaking of the pure souls: they will be horrified and will blame themselves, but they will not be noticeable. The laughter, however, will be universal.”
In the end it has always been that the most disgraceful cross becomes a great glory and a great power, if the humility of the deed is sincere. It may even be that you will be comforted in your own lifetime!…”
Everything will be counted: not a word, not a movement of the soul, not a half thought will be in vain.
You are in the grip of a desire for martyrdom and self-sacrifice; conquer this desire as well,
