Dead Inside

by Chandler Morrison

I’ve never been any kind of athlete or anything, but am I seriously the only person who realizes that infants are the perfect punting shape? If we replaced footballs with babies, I would have been far more successful in high school gym class.

If you were expecting fifty shades of softcore mommy porn, you’re going to be disappointed. Consider this your goddamn trigger warning.

Cannibalism really isn’t my thing, but there’s nothing wrong with getting a little kinky now and again.

The living are dangerous. They inflict pain. They’re so fueled by greed, a lust for useless material shit, a smoldering desire to fit in . . . and they’ll hurt and betray and destroy whomever they must in order to get anywhere close to all of it.