The Art of Seduction

by Robert Greene

These two forms of seduction—the feminine use of appearances and the masculine use of language—would

Seducers take pleasure in performing and are not weighed down by their identity, or by some need to be themselves, or to be natural.

The voice.

Body and adornment.

The key: everything must dazzle, but must also be harmonious, so that no single ornament draws attention.

Movement and demeanor.

Water. The song of the Siren is liquid and enticing, and the Siren herself is fluid and ungraspable. Like the sea, the Siren lures you with the promise of infinite adventure and pleasure.

Ideal Lovers make you feel nobler, make the sensual and sexual seem spiritual and aesthetic. Like all seducers, they play with power, but they disguise their manipulations behind the facade of an ideal. Few people see through them and their seductions last longer. Some ideals resemble Jungian archetypes—they go back a long way in our culture, and their hold is almost unconscious.

He performed the most foolhardy and dangerous maneuvers to be able to see her alone, including diverting her horse during a royal hunt and riding off into the forest with her.

Hint at something for them to aspire to, reveal your faith in some untapped potential you see in them, and you will soon have them eating out of your hand.

The Portrait Painter. Under his eye, all of your physical imperfections disappear. He brings out noble qualities in you,, frames you in a myth, makes you godlike, immortalizes you.

attest to the obscure depths of the psyche that she was able to reach and disturb.

Echo felt in love with him and followed secretly in his steps. The more closely she followed, the nearer was the fire which scorched her: just as sulphur, smeared round the tops of torches,

“The less something has to say,” he felt, “the more perfect it is.”

At first Warhol tried to make himself more aggressive, straining to please and court.

Too much attention can be interesting for a while, but it soon grows cloying and finally becomes claustrophobic and frightening. It signals weakness and neediness, an unseductive combination.

“narcissistic woman” (most often obsessed with her appearance) as the type with the greatest effect on men. As children, he explains, we pass through a narcissistic phase that is immensely pleasurable.

A similar dynamic appears in a lover’s quarrel: when a couple fights, then reconciles, the joys of reconciliation only make the attachment stronger.

Freud always maintained a distance between himself and his students, hardly ever inviting them over for dinner, say, and keeping his private life shrouded in mystery.

Yet he would occasionally choose an acolyte to confide in—Carl Jung, Otto Rank, Lou Andreas-Salomé.

The Shadow. It cannot be grasped. Chase your shadow and it will, flee; turn your back on it and it will follow you.

Their method is simple: they deflect attention from themselves and focus it on their target. They understand your spirit, feel your pain, adapt to your moods.

It’s not that the Charmer represses or discourages sexuality; lurking beneath the surface of any attempt at charm is a sexual tease, a possibility.

“Do not talk too much at present; do not try to talk. But whenever you speak, speak with self-possession. Speak in a subdued tone, and always look at the person whom you are addressing.

Before one can engage in general conversation with any effect, there is a certain acquaintance with trifling but amusing subjects which must be first attained.

Bring antagonism into harmony.

The Charmer knows how to smooth out conflict. Never stir up antagonisms that will prove immune to your charm; in the face of those who are aggressive, retreat, let them have their little victories.

Lull your victims into ease and comfort.

Show calm and self-possession in the face of adversity.

Make yourself useful.

Your social skills will prove important here: creating a wide network of allies will give you the power to link people up with each other, which will make them feel that by knowing you they can make their lives easier.

Never explain. Never complain. —BENJAMIN DISRAELI

She got him to part with some of his money—a trust fund for her son Winston, new houses, constant redecorations.

The wives who had called her a courtesan and worse slowly changed their minds. The men found her not only beguiling but useful—her worldwide contacts were invaluable. She could put them in touch with exactly the right person without them even having to ask.

In their presence, we know that everything in our relationship with them is directed toward themselves—their insecurities, their neediness, their hunger for attention. That reinforces our own egocentric tendencies; we protectively close ourselves up.

(You may think a geisha is sexual as well as charming; her power, however, lies not in the sexual favors she provides but in her rare self-effacing attentiveness.)

attempt to spark an overnight industrial revolution in China, had been a devastating failure. The people were angry: they were starving while Beijing bureaucrats lived well. Many Beijing officials, Zhou among them, returned to their native towns to try to bring order.

The Mirror. Your spirit holds a mirror up to others. When they see you they see themselves: their values, their tastes, even their flaws. Their lifelong love affair with their own image is comfortable and hypnotic;

Purpose.

that you know where you are going, they will follow you instinctively The direction does not matter: pick a cause, an ideal, a vision and show that you will not sway from your goal.

Mystery.

The Charismatic may be both proletarian and aristocratic (Mao Zedong), both cruel and kind (Peter the Great), both excitable and icily detached (Charles de Gaulle), both intimate and distant (Sigmund Freud). Since most people are predictable, the effect of these contradictions is devastatingly charismatic.

Saintliness.

They must live out their ideals without caring about the consequences. The saintly effect bestows charisma.

Saintliness goes far beyond religion: politicians as disparate as George Washington and Lenin won saintly reputations by li...

Theatricality.

A Charismatic is larger than life, has extra presence. Actors have studied this kind of presence for centuries; they know how to stand on a crowded stage and command attention.

Uninhibitedness.

problem that creates opportunities for the Charismatic, who can become a kind of screen on which others project their secret fantasies and longings. You will first have to show that you are less inhibited than your audience—that you radiate a dangerous sexuality, have no fear of death, are delightfully spontaneous.

Vulnerability.