Maul Rats: A Slasher Novel
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Read between April 16 - April 19, 2023
18%
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Nine Inch Nails,
18%
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grade. You gotta understand, Texans see themselves as Texans before they see themselves as Americans.
18%
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AOL Instant Messenger,
18%
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Blockbuster.
19%
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A handwritten sign in a metal frame read, “New Shit.”
19%
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Patch Adams,
19%
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Above the rows, old VHS boxes hung from the ceiling on clear plastic string like Christmas ornaments.
19%
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This guy was in his late 20s and dressed like a teenager: Mudhoney t-shirt, baggy jeans with holes in the knees, Chucks, a blue flannel tied around his waist. His hair was long but thinning on top, and he wore black, square glasses.
19%
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My dad subscribed to TV Guide, and when it came, I would flip to the back where they listed all the movies that would be playing on cable that week to check if Across the Street or its sequels were playing on HBO.
19%
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VCR,
20%
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As soon as the movie ended, I rewound it and watched it again.
20%
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He secretly bought me my series box set,
20%
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Scream?”
20%
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The Shining.
20%
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A Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween.
20%
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“Horror is like a big spiderweb. Older movies influence new ones, trends are ripped off and run into the ground, everything references everything else. One hit like Halloween spawns an entire subgenre, then Elm Street comes along and puts a new spin on it and that gets ripped off. Slumber Party Massacre 2 and Hello Mary Lou Prom Night 2 also both obviously stole from Freddy. And Halloween wasn’t even the first slasher to knock off a bunch of teenagers, it was just the first with a big box office. Black Christmas, Peeping Tom, Psycho, and a whole mess of Italian Giallo came first.”
21%
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“You ever see Return to Oz?” I asked.  “The pointless sequel to Wizard of Oz? No.” “Where is it?” We went to the kid’s section, and I found the box. I flipped it over to show him the back. “Disney screwed up the marketing on this. I don’t want to spoil it, but what would you do if I told you it begins with Dorothy being strapped to a table so she can receive
21%
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shock therapy? Or that there’s an evil witch with a room full of living severed heads? Look at this pumpkin guy, and the chicken! I bet you this movie is scarier than ninety percent of what you’ve got in the horror section over there.”
21%
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The Lone Star Mall was a weathered brick shopping center with dark tinted windows and fake ferns popping out of every corner.
Emily Stiffler
Quintessential mall in the 90s lol This visual is amazing!!
21%
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Foley’s,
22%
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Practical Magic
22%
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Wet Seal.”
22%
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EverQuest.”
23%
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Niceness should come standard in humans, like air conditioning in a car.
23%
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“You’re going to go off and be the next Kurt Cobain.
23%
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“What’s with this place? I’ve never seen a mall with so many empty stores.”
24%
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Service Merchandise
25%
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JNCO jeans.
25%
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Pearl beer
25%
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Ford Escort
26%
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watching Clueless.
27%
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Discman.
27%
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The Real World
30%
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purchase order book
31%
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a panicked housewife who ran into Book Barn to ask if they had Tuesdays with Morrie for her book club because Barnes and Noble at the Promenade ran out,
32%
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“Barbie Girl”
33%
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You know what will happen if we don’t fix the Y2K problem. This is bigger than us, bigger than you.
34%
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Bubba opened Hope Floats to check if the woman had been kind enough to rewind.
34%
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“I’d like you two to remember, just because someone is mentally ill, it doesn’t mean they’re dangerous, even if they stop taking their medication.
36%
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“Maybe if you got some DVDs, you’d make a little more.”
38%
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Marshall had no interest in being a hero.
38%
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He didn’t want to fight; didn’t feel the need to solve the murder. He wanted to clock out, go home, and collect his paycheck on Friday. 
41%
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Whenever HBO did a free preview weekend, Pamela would buy blank VHS tapes and Michelle and Ashley would spend the whole forty-eight hours stalking the TV and recording anything that seemed remotely entertaining.
41%
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“How about Summer Rental? I love when John Candy gets the sunburn.”
41%
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Home Alone.”
43%
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Super Mario Brothers 3
43%
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pink Hello Kitty TV/VCR combo.
46%
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She slicked a Lip Smacker on her mouth.
47%
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He dug through his backpack and produced a cell phone. He was one of five kids in the entire school who had one.
48%
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Sarah McLachlan