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Yes, moving in with my best friend’s brother sounds like a plot pulled straight from one of my favorite romance novels.
That’s what happens when you spend your entire life loving one person. Every memory includes them. And now I’m left grieving a version of my life that no longer exists.
There’s not a single photo in his home, but countless books. Every kind of motivational or self-help book you could imagine lines the shelves and they’re organized by…Are you kidding me? Alphabetical order of the author’s last name. This guy is a monster who probably runs marathons for fun and passes out nutrition bars on Halloween.
I’m not easily distracted, but if I could manifest my perfect distraction, it’d look a lot like her.
When did I say that? I’m a romance reader. I have a thing for assholes.
“We aren’t into bras?” “We? I personally don’t love wearing one with my pajamas, but you do you.” I hold my hands up in surrender. “Judgment free zone.”
“It could be negative twenty, and I’ll hold an iced coffee in my hand while I wear my winter gloves.”
“Ever hear the phrase ‘she’s not like other girls’?” He gives a small nod of his head. “Yeah, that’s not me. I’m just like every other chick. As basic as they come. I had an Uggs phase. I had a skinny jeans phase. I like my books with romance, my coffee with more creamer than caffeine, and I even take aesthetic pictures of my food anytime I’m at a restaurant.”
“You should never have to beg someone to be ready for a future,”
It’s decided. I’m going to bring some color into Ryan Shay’s life if it’s the last thing I do.
How much did it hurt to buy something that wasn’t black or white? Almost killed me.
“Phil. Philip. My guy. You love me and you know it.” “You’re the biggest pain in my ass and the reason I’m balding. My wife is pissed at you for pulling me out of bed last night.”
“Stop looking at her,” I warn. “Go hit the showers or get to the airport or just about anything other than look at her. She’s not available.” “So, you are hitting that.” Dom nods in approval. “No, I’m not hitting that. And neither are any of you. Stop looking at her or she’ll be the last thing you ever fucking see.” “Ooooh. Protective Shay is here, and his sister is nowhere to be found. Someone write this date down. History is being made, people. Ryan Shay gives a fuck about someone other than Stevie and something other than basketball.”
I said I liked him, but if he doesn’t take his eyes off her soon, I have no issue retracting my statement.
I’m good at reading people. I know how to make them feel comfortable around me. I know how to adjust who I am depending on the person I’m with. As much as I love people, sometimes they suck and what makes them comfortable is for you to appear to be inferior.
Part of me hopes Indy is home so I can know whether she’s wearing her hair in a braid or a bun. Whether she’s wearing socks around the house or letting her bare feet enjoy the heated floor. Whether she’s still in the clothes she slept in or if she’s ready for the day.
Hes obseesed
I’ for Indigo and my dad says I’m his whole heart.” She repeats her sign name. “Indy.”
I want her here. I want her to want to be here. Fuck, when did that happen?
“Ryan, my guy, you’re so completely fucked, and you can’t even see it.”
“Do you think I’m a trainwreck, Ryan?” I huff a laugh. “You’re more like a cute little fender bender.”
“I thought he loved me loudly, but when I found him with someone else, you were right when you said he practically screamed that he didn’t want me. That was the loudest he’s ever been.”
“The last woman I was in a relationship with tried to get knocked up so she’d get eighteen years of child support from me.”
The actual fuck
“Indy, I’m not blind, but even if I were, I’m pretty sure I could touch your face and understand just how fucking stunning you are, but it’s not the first thing I see anymore.”
“Indy,” he whispers from behind me. “What you offer in a relationship, as a friend, a woman, a partner, by simply being who you are is more than enough. And if someone can’t see that you’re everything, then it’s them who's missing out. I know you’re faithful. It’s one of my favorite things about you, but there has to be a limit. Some people don’t deserve your unwavering loyalty.”
I don’t give a fuck if you don’t need to save money anymore, you’re not leaving.” “That sounds very kidnap-y of you.” “Don’t tempt me.”
“Indy, to make this clear, I don’t want a single daily update tomorrow!” Stevie announces from the couch. “I’ll text you in the morning with details!” “I’m getting a new number.”
I’ve been told beautiful things, lovely and romantic things. But being told I’m inconvenient simply because Ryan acknowledged he couldn’t continue living the lonely life he assumed was destined for him is one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard.
“All I can think about is seeing you smile and trying to be the reason you are.”
You’ve been like a flash of lightning straight to my heart and I’ve been done for ever since.
“Sometimes the quietest love is the loudest,”
“I’m sorry someone let you believe you were hard to love, because, Blue, it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
“God, I love you. I think in a way, I’ve loved you since our first breakfast together. You brought me back to life, Ind, and I will love you as long as you’ll let me.”
“You know that jersey you’ve got with my last name on it? When you see it hanging there in your closet, let it serve as a reminder to you, that soon enough, it’ll be her last name too.”
“Why do you like reading fiction so much?” he asks without a hint of judgment. “How else would you get to live a thousand lives in the span of only one? The beauty of fiction is that it makes you feel things on a visceral level. You can cry with those characters, laugh with them. It teaches you to look at another’s perspective, to have empathy. In nonfiction, you simply learn about something instead of feeling it.”
