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And I think I’d like to give the real me to Ryan if he wants it. I think he’d treat my heart with kindness.
“There’s no one I trust more to protect you as much as you’ll protect her.”
“So, are we done with the whole bullshit conversation about you moving out?” Ocean eyes drop to my mouth. “But I spend a lot of your money.” “Someone needs to.” “And I’m messy. You don’t like messy.” “I like your mess.” “And I’m needy. I have no idea how to be alone.” “Good. I don’t want you to be alone. I want you to be with me.”
“Come home with me, Blue.”
“And let me make this perfectly clear, even if you say no, I will throw you over my shoulder and take you with me. But I’m working with a knee injury here and would rather you come on your own free will.”
“Are you just pretending?” He pulls away, laughing deep and full. “I stopped pretending a long time ago, Ind.”
“I mean this in the nicest way possible, but Blue, you’re the most inconvenient thing that’s ever happened to me.”
At some point, I should probably tell her that my love language is whichever one she wants it to be so she can stop guessing. I’ll make sure that girl feels loved however she needs.
“You know, Indy. Ryan doesn’t strike me as the type of man to be loud. He might not say it, might not scream it from the rooftops, but I could bet good money that he says it without words every single day.” Cold coffee waiting for me in the fridge. Fresh flowers, though sometimes dead because he tried too hard to keep them alive, sitting on the kitchen island for me at home after every road trip. Making sure I have food I can eat.
Even giving me time to process my conversation with Alex. “Sometimes the quietest love is the loudest,”
“I didn’t know Ryan knew sign language,” Caroline says next to me. “He doesn’t. He didn’t, I mean. I didn’t know he was learning.” My stare is locked on him. “I offered to teach him, but we hadn’t gotten around to starting yet.” I take a sharp inhale, attempting to compose myself. “My dad is deaf.” “Oh, Indy.” She places her hand on top of mine, the both of us watching Ryan and Sarah. “That man loves you. That right there is quiet love.”
No one in my life has made an effort to communicate with my dad in his language. Not my life-long friends and not my boyfriend of six years. And in comes this man who I’ve only known for a few months, turning my life upside down and proving what it means to be loved.
“You can hide with me forever, baby.”
“I want you, Indy. I want us. I want our little life we’ve built even when we thought we were pretending. I want you in our house because you’ve made it a home. I want your mess and your chaos. I want your genuine smiles, the ones you wear when you’re around my sister, the hockey team, and me. I want you happy, and I want to be the reason you are. I want you to choose me.”
“You deserve the grand gestures, the big moments. I’m not great at making a show. I don’t like the attention, but if that’s what you need to understand how much I want you in my life, I’ll do it.
And I’m the talker in this relationship, in case you forgot, but today, I only have three words I need to say.”
“I’m sorry someone let you believe you were
hard to love, because, Blue, it’s the easiest thing
I’ve ever done.” I shake my head. “God, I love you. I think in a way, I’ve loved you since our first breakfast together. You brought me back to life, Ind, an...
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Pulling her in, I take her lips with mine. “I’ll even add...
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“Unfortunately, Indy’s old friends are your friends. You’ll be around, I get that. But if you ever, and I mean ever make her cry again, I will do everything in my power to make your life a living hell. My face will pop up everywhere you go. You will see me in your goddamn nightmares. I will make myself a daily reminder that you fumbled the best thing you’ll ever have in your fucking life. Got it?”
But let me make this clear, when it comes to her, I have no issue ruining my reputation. I will burn the world down to protect her and I’ll proudly wave the match, so everyone knows I’m the one who did it.”
“You know that jersey you’ve got with my last name on it? When you see it hanging there in your closet, let it serve as a reminder to you, that soon enough, it’ll be her last name too.”
I clink my glass with his because sometimes I’m an asshole, and then I go find my girl.
“Oh, you don’t like that? Would you prefer something else? My honey? My boo? Or how about my lover? Everyone”—she turns around and pretends to announce to the crowd behind us—“I’m going to go get railed by my lover now!” I shift her shoulders, ushering her towards the exit. “Okay, you’re not allowed to give nicknames.”
“So only you’re allowed to hand out nicknames?” “Well, yeah, mine are good.” Blue. Ind. Baby when we’re in bed. Mrs. Shay is another I’d like to add to the list in the future.
Daily update—I’m in love with your brother. Stevie Best daily update I’ve ever received.
Learning to communicate with your family is the bare minimum, Ind.”
“I’ve got everything I could ever ask for. I’ve never been happier in my life, Blue. Now, I just got to get us to the playoffs.”
“Ry, I’m heading to Michael’s.”
“Say that again for me.” “I’m heading to Michael’s.” “And who the fuck is Michael?” Huh? As realization hits me, I try my hardest not to laugh. Jealous Ryan is hot, so I’ll let this play out before admitting that Michael’s is the craft store where I buy my embroidery thread to cross-stitch.
“Have fun, but just know that you’re responsible for whatever happens to Michael tonight. In fact…” He eases into the couch as if he’s casually unaffected. “It’ll give me something to do later.” It’s then that I double over in laughter. “You’re insane.”
“Michael’s is a craft store, you psychopath.”
“Read with me?” “God.” My head falls back. “Talk dirty to me, why don’t you.”
“This is practically a how-to manual on how to please a woman. How are more men not reading these?”
My emotional girl wasn’t emotional at all.
“You’re wrong, by the way,” he says. “Wrong about what?” “Me not having to make you coffee. I had Ryan Shay standing in my doorway telling me how his girlfriend likes her coffee and if you don’t think the look he gave me while he said it screamed ‘you better fucking make her coffee when she wakes up’ well then, babe, you’re wrong.”
“You don’t have to beg, Ind. I’ll give you everything you could want.”
“You don’t think I know that? I haven’t seen black and white since the second you walked into my apartment. Now it’s pink-painted toes, purple clothes, green plants, and those goddamn yellow curtains.” He shakes his head. “And so much fucking Blue. All I see is Blue.” Translation: All I see is you.
“I love that you read romance novels to feel something. I love that you love flowers and plants because nurturing and allowing something to grow is second nature to you. I love that you experience every emotion so hard it takes over your entire body. But baby, I want to be the one to make you feel how your favorite books do. I want to be the one to give you children to nurture and grow. When you think of me, the only emotion I want you to feel is unconditional, earth-shattering love. Because when I look at you, I see my entire future and I can’t stand to live in a world where you look at me
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His quiet love. It’s always the loudest.
“I love you, Blue. So fucking much and I’ll fight for you forever, but I need you to fight for us too. Now eat your breakfast, it’s getting cold.”
“Why did you pay for my fertility treatments? I didn’t want anyone paying for that.” “No, you didn’t want your parents paying for that. You said you felt uncomfortable for someone else paying for you to start a family. Well, it’s going to be my family too, so I don’t count.” “But that was back in December. Even then?” He knew even then? “Even then.”
“I’m thinking about how hot I’m going to be as an NBA wife.”
“Are we doing this forever or what? The four of us. Raising babies, and growing old together?”
“Daily update, Vee—we’re doing this forever, but first I need your help with something.”
