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“You should never have to beg someone to be ready for a future,”
“So, your name is Blue?”
It’s my self-assigned role. Host. Event coordinator. The one who always makes a huge deal of birthdays and promotions. The friend who wants to celebrate every exciting moment of my people’s lives, to give them a moment of recognition so they know how special they are. The one who ensures those around her feel good about themselves.
Immediately, my attention is drawn upward. Right there, on the wall opposite me is the most beautiful bed I’ve ever seen. Cloud-like pillows and a white comforter create a vortex I want to fall into and never get out. Luxurious and expensive with a bit of texture on the duvet. It’s stunning and it’s new with no taint of my previous life or relationship. It’s mine. And it’s from Ryan.
awww he bought her a bed!!!
this is one of the most kind and attentive things someone has done for me in a long time, and it means more than I know how to express.
so sweet
A pop of lavender peeks out from under the pile of pillows. New sheets in my favorite color, and I don’t know how to process how I feel about him remembering that.
he remembered her favorite color!!
“I can take care of myself.” “I’m sure you can. But I like taking care of people. It’s kind of my thing.” She smiles at me over her shoulder. Fuck, she’s pretty.
AWWWW
Truthfully, I wanted to be the one to cook her breakfast again. It seemed to impress her last time, and I got off on seeing her happily eat my food.
“You’d be good to someone. You’d make someone happy. I can tell.”
there’s something about the kind smile Indy is wearing as she watches me do the dishes that makes me want to believe my gut. That she means I, as a man, as a normal everyday person would make someone happy, and I haven’t let that thought invade my mind in a long time.
“You look lovely, Blue.” “You look lovely, too.”
too freaking sweet
“You cross-stitch?” “Proudly.” “You grandma.”
heheheee im giggling at this
The realization rams into my chest. I want her here. I want her to want to be here. Fuck, when did that happen?
the only time emotions hit me is when my sister is involved. She’s my gray area in a world of black and white.
This is my version of her. The one where she’s comfortable and casual at home and I don’t want to share her.
“You can’t stop being who you are because someone else thinks it’s too much, Ind. He can go find less.”
“Do you think I’m a trainwreck, Ryan?” I huff a laugh. “You’re more like a cute little fender bender.”
Indy is not the type of woman you can simply flush from your system after a single night. She’s the kind to seep into your veins and rewire your brain, making you do and say things you swore you never would. Whether she believes it or not, Indigo Ivers is the type of woman you keep forever, and even though I can pretend to be her boyfriend, there’s no way in hell I could pretend that one night with her wouldn’t completely fuck me up.
I’ve always found Indy’s Converse random and a bit strange, but now I find myself wondering what I have to do to get myself added to them.
But with you, I can be myself, and that might seem like nothing to anyone else, but to me, it’s everything.”
Before I can think any further, his palms cup my face, long fingers threading into my ponytail, and his lips are on mine.
AHHH YESSS OMG YAYY
all I saw was Blue. My perfect fucking Blue
It’s impractical, constantly spending money on flowers that will die shortly after bringing them home, but every cent is worth it when I get to watch that beaming smile bloom when she sees them.
it’s beyond endearing that the love between fictional characters can bring her so much joy.
love this
Ryan Shay is celibate. What did we, as the female population, do to deserve this?
AHAHA
“I’m just used to taking care of someone.” “Trust me, Ind. I know, and you’re still taking care of someone. Only now the person you’re taking care of is you
so sweet!!
“There’s my girl.”
!!!!
“Hey, Blue, I kind of missed talking to you for three days. Let’s not do that again.” “Deal.” “Add it to the fridge. With all the other deals we’ve made.” We both stay silent for a moment, neither of us hanging up just yet. Indy clears her throat. “See you at home.” And fuck do I love the way those words sound rolling off her tongue. “See you at home.”
im so giddy over them
“All this time I thought you didn’t believe in love.” “I believe in love, but I’m a realist. You could love someone with your entire being, but it doesn’t guarantee they’ll love you in return. It’s a gamble, and I don’t like to make bets I might lose.”
I’m not sure how anyone who was given the opportunity to know this man, to be loved by this man, wouldn’t love him in return.
He eyes me cautiously, as if for the first time realizing he’s walking through a minefield talking about marriage and babies with a woman who might not get either but wants nothing more.
“Do we need to add this to our deal? Put it on the fridge? Because as far as I’m concerned no one else gets to touch you.”
i love a possessive man
My breath catches. “Jealousy turns you on?” “Nah. No need to be jealous when I know what’s mine. I’m the one you’re going home with.”
ohmagosh
“Do you have any pickup lines?” I quietly ask Ryan for no one else to hear. He shakes his head. “Nah. I’d rather pin you down than pick you up.”
yawwlll!!
He takes a seat behind me, legs spread on either side of my body. Gently, he begins to brush my hair.
ryan shay the man you are!! UGH
Ryan doesn’t make me feel like a burden. He doesn’t make me feel like I’m too much.
“Indy,” he whispers from behind me. “What you offer in a relationship, as a friend, a woman, a partner, by simply being who you are is more than enough. And if someone can’t see that you’re everything, then it’s them who's missing out. I know you’re faithful. It’s one of my favorite things about you, but there has to be a limit. Some people don’t deserve your unwavering loyalty.”
“No one has ever taken care of me,” I squeak past the lump in my throat. “Thank you, Ryan.”
Alex may have drained the old me, but the real me, I have plenty left to give. And I think I’d like to give the real me to Ryan if he wants it. I think he’d treat my heart with kindness.
“Come home with me, Blue.”
“Are you just pretending?” He pulls away, laughing deep and full. “I stopped pretending a long time ago, Ind.”
“All I can think about is seeing you smile and trying to be the reason you are.”
Indy wants me for me
At some point, I should probably tell her that my love language is whichever one she wants it to be so she can stop guessing. I’ll make sure that girl feels loved however she needs.
Right there, inside of the left ankle is an embroidered basketball with my number and a heart stitched into the center of it. “When did that get there?” I ask, loving the way my name and number look all over her. “This afternoon. I thought it was about time.” My stare breaks from her feet to find her smiling proudly, wearing my favorite emotion of hers—joy.
“Sometimes the quietest love is the loudest,”
“I love you.”
I just need your quiet love because those moments are the loudest declarations I’ve ever heard.
“I’m sorry someone let you believe you were hard to love, because, Blue, it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
I will burn the world down to protect her and I’ll proudly wave the match, so everyone knows I’m the one who did it.”
