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When did I say that? I’m a romance reader. I have a thing for assholes.
The bartender interrupts us with a fresh beer in his hand, sliding it across the counter. “This one is on me,” he says to Stevie, with a grin that can only be described as “panty-melting.” A tattooed hand slides around Stevie’s waist from behind. “Absolutely not.” Zanders’ venomous glare is focused on the soon-to-be dead bartender. “Abso-fucking-lutely not.”
AAAAAAAA BARK BARK BARK
I just want the fridge to be stocked with things she can eat. I want her to feel at home here because it’s her home too. The realization rams into my chest. I want her here. I want her to want to be here. Fuck, when did that happen?
Indy would never question how magnetic, how distracting she is if she saw herself the way everyone in her orbit sees her. The way I see her.
Indy is not the type of woman you can simply flush from your system after a single night. She’s the kind to seep into your veins and rewire your brain, making you do and say things you swore you never would. Whether she believes it or not, Indigo Ivers is the type of woman you keep forever, and even though I can pretend to be her boyfriend, there’s no way in hell I could pretend that one night with her wouldn’t completely fuck me up.
“Ron, would you mind throwing a few of these on the grill too?” Ryan asks, putting his cooler on the picnic table and fishing out a box of frozen veggie patties. “Indy is a vegetarian.”
Oh my gooooooooood THIS MAN
I honestly couldn’t care less what’s up north. If she saw how stunning she looked with a light layer of moisture coating her body or the slight flush to her cheeks from her warm shower, she would understand my disinterest in looking away. “The stars are so bright out here,” she continues. “I never see them in the city.” Brown eyes track me. “Ryan?” I nod. “Stunning.”
“So, are we done with the whole bullshit conversation about you moving out?” Ocean eyes drop to my mouth. “But I spend a lot of your money.” “Someone needs to.” “And I’m messy. You don’t like messy.” “I like your mess.” “And I’m needy. I have no idea how to be alone.” “Good. I don’t want you to be alone. I want you to be with me.”
I thought I had loved someone once, but if this is what it’s supposed to feel like, now I know my heart was never fully invested before. I loved the idea of the life I thought I was going to have, but with Indy, even if we spend the rest of our days just the two of us in this apartment, I’d die a happy man with an abundantly fulfilled life.
At some point, I should probably tell her that my love language is whichever one she wants it to be so she can stop guessing. I’ll make sure that girl feels loved however she needs.
“You know, Indy. Ryan doesn’t strike me as the type of man to be loud. He might not say it, might not scream it from the rooftops, but I could bet good money that he says it without words every single day.” Cold coffee waiting for me in the fridge. Fresh flowers, though sometimes dead because he tried too hard to keep them alive, sitting on the kitchen island for me at home after every road trip. Making sure I have food I can eat. Even giving me time to process my conversation with Alex. “Sometimes the quietest love is the loudest,” she continues.
With my hands bracketed on the sink, I lose it. Tears stream down my face from the overwhelming knowledge that I’ve gone twenty-seven years without being loved the way Ryan Shay loves me. And now I have the privilege to be loved so selflessly, so attentively.
Maybe words of affirmation are his love language. Maybe it’s quality time. I’m not sure, but I’m going to become fluent in them all until Ryan understands just how much I love him. How much I want him for his heart and not for his name. Though, one day, I wouldn’t mind taking that too.
“I’m sorry someone let you believe you were hard to love, because, Blue, it’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” I shake my head. “God, I love you. I think in a way, I’ve loved you since our first breakfast together. You brought me back to life, Ind, and I will love you as long as you’ll let me.”
Ryan is it for me. It didn’t take six years for me to know. It didn’t even take six months. My heart has been his even when I thought I didn't have any left of it to give. He healed it when someone else broke it, and now it’s his forever.
