One Day

by David Nicholls

‘So. What about you?’ he said, in what she thought of as his psychiatrist voice. ‘Any news? Any action? Love-life-wise.’ ‘Oh you know me. I have no emotions. I’m a robot. Or a nun. A robot nun.’ ‘No you’re not. You pretend to be, but you’re not.’

bluestocking

ejekan untuk wanita yang teredukasi tapi gak menikah(?)

he wondered if perhaps Emma was right, perhaps he was a little too distracted by the sexual side of things.

aren't most guys be like this?

‘Shut up, Dexter. Ian’s just a friend.

Dexter juga temen, tapi lo tidur bareng? hahahah

‘You know, Em, if you’re still single when you’re forty I’ll marry you.’ She looked at him with frank disgust. ‘Was that a proposal, Dex?’ ‘Not now, just at some point if we both get desperate.’ She laughed bitterly. ‘And what makes you think I’d want to marry you?’ ‘Well, I’m sort of taking that as a given.’ She shook her head slowly. ‘Well you’ll have to join the queue, I’m afraid. My friend Ian said exactly the same thing to me while we were disinfecting the meat fridge. Except he only gave me until I was thirty-five.’ ‘Well no offence to Ian, but I think you should definitely hold out for the extra five years.’

Most people hate their jobs. That’s why they’re called jobs.’

I know we’re all meant to be desperate to work in the media these days, like the media’s the best job in the world—’

kerja di media ternyata dipandang banget ya jaman dulu

‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘No, I’m sorry.’ ‘What are you sorry for?’ ‘Rattling on like a … mad old cow. I’m sorry, I’m tired, bad day, and I’m sorry for being so … boring.’ ‘You’re not that boring.’ ‘I am, Dex. God, I swear, I bore myself.’ ‘Well you don’t bore me.’ He took her hand in his. ‘You could never bore me. You’re one in a million, Em.’

jesus...

She pressed her head against his shoulder to make him stop or else she felt she might cry. ‘You’re nice. But I should go.’ ‘No, stay a bit longer. We’ll get another bottle.’

shit:"(

She made a firm resolution, one of the resolutions she was making almost daily these days. No more sleepovers, no more writing poetry, no more wasting time. Time to tidy up your life. Time to start again.

geez aren't you tired of being alone?

they lay quietly nursing their hangovers, feeling the throb of the engines in their churning liquid stomachs, eating oranges, quietly reading, quietly burning, entirely happy in each other’s silence.

Dexter had never consciously set out to be famous, though he had always wanted to be successful, and what was the point of being successful in private? People should know.

She opened it on the first blank page and tried to think of something she could write, some insight or observation other than that everything was fine. Everything was fine, and she had the rare, new sensation of being exactly where she wanted to be.

‘It was a long time ago—’ ‘Not that long. If I close my eyes, I can picture it—’ ‘Don’t do that—’ ‘Yep, there you are—’ ‘It was dark—’ ‘Not that dark—’ ‘I was drunk—’ ‘That’s what they always say—’ ‘They? Who’s they?’ ‘And you weren’t that drunk—’ ‘Drunk enough to lower my standards. Besides, as I recall nothing happened.’

‘When we first met, at University, before we became, you know, pals, well, I had a bit of a crush on you. Not a bit of a crush, a massive crush actually. For ages. Wrote dopey poems and everything.’ ‘Poems? Really?’ ‘I’m not proud of myself.’ ‘I see. I see.’ He folded his arms,

sakit banget?

‘So what happened?’ She looked into the bottom of her glass. ‘I suppose it was something you get over in time. Like shingles.’ ‘No, really, what happened.’ ‘I got to know you. You cured me of you.’

ancurin aja hatiku huuh paham banget rasanya njim

Her confession to Dexter had felt like swinging wildly at a ball, watching it sail high into the air then moments later hearing the sound of breaking glass. For the remainder of their time together she resolved to stay level-headed, sober and remember The Rules. Remember Ingrid, beautiful uninhibited bisexual Ingrid, waiting for him back in London. No more inappropriate revelations.

njiiirrrr

If she was too scared to swim without a costume how could she ever be expected to tell a man that she wanted to kiss him?

‘And also to say I thought the same thing too. At the time. What I mean is I liked you too, “romantically”, I mean. I mean I didn’t write poems or anything, but I thought about you, think about you, you and me. I mean I fancy you.’ ‘Really? Oh. Really? Right. Oh. Right.’ It’s going to happen after all, she thought, right here and now, standing naked in the Aegean Sea. ‘My problem is—’ and he sighed and smiled with one side of his mouth. ‘Well I suppose I fancy pretty much everybody!’ ‘I see,’ was all she could say.

just dexter being dexter with all his unseriousness like.. why you have to let people down like this jeez

‘However, if you wanted a bit of fun—’ ‘Fun?’ ‘Break the Rules—’ ‘Play Scrabble?’ ‘You know what I mean. A fling. Just while we’re away, no strings, no obligations, not a word to Ingrid. Our little secret. Because I’d be up for it. That’s all.’ She made a noise in her throat somewhere between laughter and a growl. Up for it.

njim kenapa relate banget yaAllah

She began a slow count. One, two, three— You arrogant, self-satisfied little— Four, five, six— And you stupid, stupid woman, stupid for caring, stupid for thinking that he cared— Seven, eight, nine— He’s flailing now, better let him up I suppose, and make a joke, make a joke of it— Ten,

<//////3

‘Dexter, I understand you perfectly, that’s the problem—’ ‘If you’re scared of Ingrid—’ ‘I’m not scared of her, I’m just not going to do it so that we can say that we’ve done it. And I’m not going to do it if the first thing you say afterwards is “please don’t tell anyone” or “let’s forget it ever happened”. If you have to keep something secret it’s because you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place!’

pria dan segala kejantanannya yang gabisa diredam..

‘OIIIIIIIIIII!’ shouted Dexter, barrelling towards the shore now, yelling through mouthfuls of water, then taking startling high-kneed strides up the beach, pounding after the thief who had stolen all his clothes.

dan ada aja adegan kocak diantara percakapan penting wkwk syit

We spent as much money as we could and got as little for it as people could make up their minds to give us. We were always more or less miserable, and most of our acquaintance were in the same condition.

once again Dexter is struck by how easy conversation can be when no-one is in their right mind.

and once again he feels a wave of panic. He needs company. He looks around for a payphone.

or Emma, yes Emma, no not Emma, not in this state, she doesn’t get it, won’t approve. And yet it’s Emma that he wants to see the most. Why isn’t she with him tonight? He has all these things he wants to ask her like why have they never got together, they’d be great together, a team, a pair, Dex and Em, Em and Dex, everybody says so. He is taken aback by this sudden rush of love he feels for Emma, and he decides to get in a cab to Earls Court and tell her how great she is, how he really, really loves her and how sexy she is if only she knew it and why not just do it, just to see what happens, and if none of that works, even if they just sit up and talk, at least it will be better than being alone tonight. Whatever happens, he mustn’t be alone …

yeeeuuu brgsk

Sometimes she thinks how nice it would be to be woken by a call in the night: ‘get in a taxi now’ or ‘I need to see you, we need to talk’. But at the best of times she feels like a character in a Muriel Spark novel – independent, bookish, sharp-minded, secretly romantic.

hehe sounds like me hehe

Sons kissing fathers – a law of nature has been broken.

‘You keep saying it’s fun, are you trying to convince me, or yourself?’

‘Mum, I just introduce the bands, that’s all. I just ask pop stars about their exciting new video, that’s my job. It’s a means to an end.’ ‘But to what end, Dexter? We always raised you to believe that you can do anything you wanted. I just didn’t think you’d want to do this.’ ‘What do you want me to do?’ ‘I don’t know; something good.’ Abruptly she places her left hand on her chest, and sits back in her chair.

Time passes. Recently he has noticed idiocy creeping up on him. His resolve to keep his head on straight, his feet on the ground, is failing and he has observed, quite objectively, that he is becoming more thoughtless, selfish, making more and more stupid remarks. He has tried to do something about this but it almost feels out of his control now, like pattern baldness. Why not just give in and be an idiot? Stop caring. Time passes and he notices that grass and weeds have started to push their way through the surface of the tennis court. The place is falling apart already.

‘Can I get you anything?’ ‘I’m fine.’ ‘Are you due anything? Medicine or …’ ‘No, I’m fine.’ ‘Dry martini with a twist?’ ‘Oh yes please.’ ‘Do you want to get under the covers?’ ‘Just that blanket, please.’ ‘Curtains closed?’ ‘Please. But leave the window open.’ ‘See you later then.’ ‘Goodbye, darling.’ ‘See you.’ He smiles tightly at her, but she is already lying on her side with her back to him, and he steps out of the room, pulling the door loosely closed. One day quite soon, probably within the year, he will walk out of a room and never see her again, and this thought is so hard to conceive of that he shoves it away violently, concentrating instead on himself:

‘I think …’ She lifts her head from his shoulder. ‘I think that you have it in you to be a fine young man. Exceptional even. I have always thought that. Mothers are supposed to, aren’t they? But I don’t think you’re there yet. Not yet. I think you’ve got some way to go. That’s all.’

He remembers his lie. ‘Yes, yes I will. And I’m sorry if I haven’t been very … very good today.’ ‘Well. I suppose there’s always the next time,’

‘Dexter—’ Dexter stoops, and looks in at his father. His eyes are wet, but his voice is steady as he says— ‘Dexter, your mother loves you very, very much. And I do too. We always have and we always will. I think you know that. But in whatever time your mother has left to her—’ He falters, glances down as if looking for the words, then up. ‘Dexter, if you ever come and see your mother in this state again, I swear, I will not let you into the house. I will not let you through our door. I will close the door in your face. I mean this.’

He should hang up, but he doesn’t want to. He wants to see Emma Morley so that he might confess his sins, but she’s on a date. He pulls his mouth into a grin and says ‘I’ll call you tomorrow. I want to know everything! Heartbreaker you.’

BJIR HATI GUE TERDENGAR KREK KREK

He checked his watch again – twenty minutes late – and felt a pang of longing in his stomach that was partly hunger, partly love. For years now his heart and stomach had been heavy with love for Emma Morley, and not just sentimental platonic love, but a carnal desire too.

ugh lust

He was a man with a great sense of humour while at the same time being in no way funny. Unlike Dexter: Dexter had no interest at all in jokes, probably thought that a sense of humour, like a political conscience, was a little embarrassing and un-cool, and yet with Dexter she laughed all the time, hysterically, sometimes, frankly, until she peed a little.

i get what u mean gurl

Me again! Just checking in. Bit drunk now actually. Bit sentimental. You’re a great thing, Emma Morley. Be nice to see you. Call when you get in. What else did I want to say? Nothing, except that you are a great, great thing. So. When you get in. Call me. Give me a call.

MAKANYA JANGAN DISIA-SIA!!!!!

‘That’s where I went wrong! Wow, my school days would have been so different if I’d known! All those years, scrambling around on the floor …’ Enough of this. ‘Ian, don’t do that,’ she said sharply. ‘What?’ ‘Slip into your act. You don’t have to, you know.’ He looked hurt, and she regretted her tone, leaning across the table to take his hand. ‘I just don’t think you have to be observing all the time, or riffing or quipping or punning. It’s not improv, Ian, it’s just, you know, talking and listening.’ ‘Sorry, I—’ ‘Oh, it’s not just you, it’s men in general, all of you doing your number all the time. God, what I’d give for someone who just talked and listened!’

!!!!!!

nothing good ever came of speaking your thoughts.

yea rite

‘I think what it is is, if you’re at school and you’re not that bright or good-looking or popular or whatever, and one day you say something and someone laughs, well, you sort of grab onto it, don’t you? You think, well I run funny and I’ve got this stupid big face and big thighs and no-one fancies me, but at least I can make people laugh. And it’s such a nice feeling, making someone laugh, that maybe you get a bit reliant on it. Like, if you’re not funny then you’re not … anything.’

bjir ian w kata stop

‘I’ll be there in half an hour. Stop drinking. Wait for me.’ ‘Naomi? Naomi, do you realise?’ ‘What?’ ‘Do you realise that you are saving my life?’

this is just a pure heartbreak. MY HEART IS BREAKING

Irrationally, unreasonably, he has become – what? Jealous? No, not jealous, but resentful perhaps. He has always expected Emma to be there, a resource he can call upon at any time like the emergency services. Since the cataclysm of his mother’s death last Christmas he has found himself more and more reliant on her at exactly the point that she has become less available to him. She used to return phone-calls immediately, now days go by without a word. She’s been ‘away with Ian’ she says, but where do they go? What do they do? Buy furniture together? Watch ‘vids’? Go to pub quizzes? Ian has even met Emma’s parents, Jim and Sue. They love him, she says. Why has Dexter never met Jim and Sue? Wouldn’t they love him more?

u jeles ini dexter yeuuu

And he knows he’s being churlish, but it would help to see Emma in the audience. He’s a better person when she’s around, and isn’t that what friends are for, to raise you up and keep you at your best? Emma is his talisman, his lucky charm, and now she won’t be there and his mother won’t be there and he will wonder why he’s doing it at all.

hft

Ian loves her, he tells her so, if anything a little too often, and she thinks she may be able to love him back, but it will take some practice.

yeuh

‘You are smart, Sonya, so so smart, but people set these traps for you and you walk right into them.’ Sonya sighs, sets her face and looks out at the small rectangle of parched grass outside the science block. ‘You could do so well, not just in the play but in class too. Your work this term’s been really intelligent and sensitive and thoughtful.’ Unsure how to deal with praise, Sonya sniffs and scowls. ‘Next term you could do even better, but you’ve got to control your temper, Sonya, you’ve got to show people you’re better than that.’

Don’t fall apart, he tells himself, not here, not now. Hold it together.

A school production, it is the smallest imaginable triumph but Emma’s heart is beating in her chest and she can’t stop grinning

sense kf achievement