The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake

by Aimee Bender

Several of the girls at the party had had sex, something which sounded appealing but only if it could happen with blindfolds in a time warp plus amnesia.

I am very drawn to depictions of high school in books, TV, film—it’s such a heightened time, and also I was so overwhelmed by everything at that age that it feels fun to revisit with greater perspective. That people were actually having sex in high school felt so shocking to me! I remember the first date I went on; when he came to the door, as my parents insisted, my lip was twitching so bad I could hardly say hello. I was just terrified at that time by all of it, and clearly Rose is as well. And also, of course, it seemed fun, and I was envious of those other savvier people, too. Nowadays, I love seeing teenagers who are inside their own faces already—I’m a bit in awe of them. It took me years to feel like I was present and inside my own face, processing my own experience.