Ender's Shadow (Shadow, #1)

by Orson Scott Card

“And yet you became his friend.” “Well, I didn’t mean to. I just had the bunk across from him in launchy barracks.” “You traded for that bunk.” “Did I? Oh. Eh.” “And you did that before you knew how smart Bean was.” “Dimak told us in the shuttle that Bean had the highest scores of any of us.” “Was that why you wanted to be near him?” Nikolai shrugged. “It was an act of kindness,” said Major Anderson. “Perhaps I’m just an old cynic, but when I see such an inexplicable act I become curious.” “He really does kind of look like my baby pictures. Isn’t that dumb? I saw him and I thought, he looks just like cute little baby Nikolai. Which is what my mother always called me in my baby pictures. I never thought of them as me. I was big Nikolai. That was cute little baby Nikolai. I used to pretend that he was my little brother and we just happened to have the same name. Big Nikolai and Cute Little Baby Nikolai.” “I see that you’re ashamed, but you shouldn’t be. It’s a natural thing for an only child to do.” “I wanted a brother.” “Many who have a brother wish they didn’t.” “But the brother I made up for myself, he and I got along fine.” Nikolai laughed at the absurdity of it. “And you saw Bean and thought of him as the brother you once imagined.” “At first. Now I know who he really is, and it’s better. It’s like . . . sometimes he’s the little brother and I’m looking out for him, and sometimes he’s the big brother and he’s looking out for me.”