The Empathy Jolt is a powerful intervention to use when two people in your life are beating on each other brutally instead of communicating—or when at least one person is more interested in attacking than in listening. Use it at the first sign that a conflict is getting out of control. Here’s an example: MANAGER OF A SOFTWARE TEAM: We’ve targeted this release for next week, but I hear there’s a problem. SIMON: Yeah, there’s a problem. Kim didn’t give me enough time to work on it. Her targets aren’t realistic. Nobody could get this done in time. KIM (FURIOUS): Simon could if he did what I ask
The Empathy Jolt is a powerful intervention to use when two people in your life are beating on each other brutally instead of communicating—or when at least one person is more interested in attacking than in listening. Use it at the first sign that a conflict is getting out of control. Here’s an example: MANAGER OF A SOFTWARE TEAM: We’ve targeted this release for next week, but I hear there’s a problem. SIMON: Yeah, there’s a problem. Kim didn’t give me enough time to work on it. Her targets aren’t realistic. Nobody could get this done in time. KIM (FURIOUS): Simon could if he did what I ask of him. We’re late because he spent three extra days adding a bunch of graphics bells and whistles that nobody cares about. We have to sell this product but instead we have a bunch of worthless features and no product to sell. Don’t blame me for this mess. SOFTWARE MANAGER: Okay. Before we talk about what’s going on with the release, I’d like to do something first. I know that both of you are extraordinarily good at what you do. In fact, you’re two of the strongest performers I’ve ever worked with. And I also know that it’s very hard for you to work together. So I’d like to ask each of you a question, with the goal of seeing if we can make this situation work better for both of you. KIM AND SIMON (BOTH DEFENSIVELY): Okay. SOFTWARE MANAGER: Let’s start with you, Kim. Here’s the question: If I were to ask Simon what frustrates him most about working with you, what would he say? KIM (SURP...
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