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The conflict between who we are and who we want to be is at the core of the human struggle. Duality, in fact, lies at the very center of the human experience.
We will assert that it is because of our unexamined life, our darker self, our shadow self where our unclaimed power lies hidden. It is here, in this least likely place, that we will find the key to unlock our strength, our happiness, and our ability to live out our dreams.
If we don’t acknowledge all of who we are, we are guaranteed to be blindsided by the shadow effect.
We become scared of what we will find if we look inside ourselves, so instead we bury our heads and refuse to face our shadow sides.
But this book reveals a new truth—shared from three life-changing perspectives—that the opposite of what we fear we will experience is what actually occurs.
Instead of shame, we feel compassion. Instead of embarrassment, we gain courage. Instead of limitation, we experience freedom. If left unopened, the shadow is a Pandora’s box filled with secrets that we fear will destroy everything we love and care about. ...
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There is no one in the world who doesn’t have a shadow, and when taken seriously and understood, the shadow can birth a new reality that will alter the way we feel about ourselves, the way we parent our children, the way we treat our partners, the way we interact with our community members, and the way we engage with other nations.
I believe that the shadow is one of the greatest gifts available to us. Carl Jung called it a “sparring partner” it is the opponent within us that exposes our flaws and sharpens our skills. It is the teacher, the trainer, and the guide that supports us in uncovering our true magnificence. The shadow is not a problem to be solved or an enemy to be conquered but a fertile field to be cultivated.
It only makes sense to unravel the mystery before asking how to deal with it.
If you cannot see your own shadow, you must go in search of it.
dark side are no longer the only choices. People can turn their backs on cosmic evil and take personal responsibility. The dark side has been updated as sickness, a branch of mental health.
This may seem like a gloomy prospect, but in fact the first step toward dealing with the shadow is to acknowledge its power. Human nature includes a self-destructive side.
problems it poses. In the fog of illusion, we don’t see our worst impulses as self-destructive. They’re irresistible, even fun.
human beings have always had the power to find peace, exaltation, and freedom from darkness.
Higher consciousness is the answer—the only lasting answer—to the dark side of human nature. It’s not the answer that’s at fault here—it’s the application. There are countless paths to healing the soul, just as there are countless alternative treatments for cancer. But no one has enough time and energy to experiment with all of them. It’s vital to pick a path that takes you where you want to go. For that to happen, a much deeper analysis of the shadow is required. If you approach the darkness superficially, it will always persist, because the shadow isn’t as simple an enemy as sickness, a
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The first step in defeating the shadow is to abandon all notions of defeating it. The dark side of human nature thrives on war, struggle, and conflict. As soon as you talk about “winning,” you have lost already. You have been dragged into the duality of good and evil. Once that happens, nothing can end the duality. Good has no power to defeat its opposite once and for all.
Realists will concede that repression itself is an evil. If you try to smother your feelings of anger, fear, insecurity, jealousy, and sexuality,
Whenever any aspect of the self has been split off, labeled as bad, illicit, shameful, guilty, or wrong, the shadow gains power.
The more you repress your dark side, the easier it is to construct a persona that shines with goodness and light.
In such moments of clarity, the power of healing comes from the clarity itself.
In clarity the self comes together and sees itself without blinders. You have only one self. It is the real you. It is beyond good and evil.
The shadow loses its power when consciousness sto...
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When you are no longer split, there’s nothing to see but one sel...
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Consciousness see...
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Human beings are the only creatures who can create a self.
We enter the world not as passive receivers of sense data, but as eager creators.
At any moment when you feel that your world is falling apart, what is really falling apart is the self and its confidence that it understands reality. After any major trauma to body or mind, it takes time for the fragile ego-personality to recover. (We are very lucky that an old adage is true: “Souls don’t break; they bounce.”)
The notion that you and I created our separate, isolated selves is an illusion. We tapped into the vast reservoir of all human aspirations, drives, and myths. This shared unconscious is also where the shadow lives.
Unseen and often ignored, the human soul is a place of ambiguity, of contradiction and paradox. And that’s as it should be, because all experience in life, which is the manifestation of the soul, is the result of contrast.
In order to have manifestation, you need opposing energies.
It’s a general principle. You need your enemies to be who you are.
The question “Who am I” never has a fixed answer. The self is fluid and constantly changing, meaning your own self and the self you share with everyone else.
What we have here is a clue to one of the deepest of spiritual secrets, the power to alter reality all at once.
Everyone uses projection as a defense to avoid looking inward.
“I can’t admit what I feel, so I’ll imagine that you feel it.”
when you are okay with yourself, there’s no reason to label anyone as not okay.
Arrogance: “I’m too proud to bother with you. Your very presence irritates me.”
Arrogance disguises bottled-up anger, and beneath that lies deep-seated pain.
Jealousy disguises your own impulse to stray or a sense of sexual inadequacy.
undoing the shadow is always a process.
Is it easy to recognize when you’re projecting? One clue is negativity—projection is never neutral. It manifests as negative energy because what it’s disguising is negative.
“Inside you is the cause of every war. It is your violence, hidden and denied, that leads to wars of every kind, whether it is war inside your home, against others in society, or between nations.”
The minute you see that you are projecting a hidden feeling is the moment you need to contact it. Don’t delay.
Until you make peace with negative feelings, they will persist. The way to deal with negativity is to acknowledge it. Nothing more is needed. No dramatic confrontation, no catharsis. Feel the feeling, whether it’s anger, fear, envy, aggression, or anything else, and say, “I see you. You belong to me.” You don’t have to feel fine about your unwanted feeling.
Every past trauma you have ever experienced, from a car accident to rejection in love, from losing a job to failing in school, has deposited its remains in the shadow. You have been accumulating what some psychologists call “emotional debt to the past.” To pay back this debt, you listen to the story that lies behind it.
However, if you keep recycling emotions from the past, you will only wind up reinforcing the past.
“I’ve felt this way before. I can deal with it.” “I won’t feel better unloading on someone else.”
“I can be patient. Let’s see if I cool down in a while.”
“I am much more than my feelings.” “Moods come and go, even the worst moods.” “I know how to center myself.”
You must intend to be detached, centered, patient, and self-aware.
