The Blade Itself (The First Law, #1)

by Joe Abercrombie

‘Excellent,’ said Glokta brightly. ‘Excellent,’ said Severard. ‘Etherer,’ said Practical Frost.

Lmao

Furthermore, he was scarred and ugly. Jezal had no use whatever for ugly people.

Oh my days lol

It was truly a hideous sight, the ragged scars twisting and puckering, making his face more lop-sided than ever. ‘You can never have too many knives,’ he growled in a deep, grinding voice. Nobody laughed, but he did not seem to care.

So funny reading him from this perspective cause he does not come across that way at all in his own pov chapter

He wiped his face, and then – his favourite part of the day – gazed at himself in the looking glass.

Fucking jezl hahaha hes such a prick but i lowkey think hes funny

this boob was nothing to worry about.

HA BOOB

Jezal shrugged pleasantly. ‘It’s not my fault you’re shit.’

I want him to win but also want him to fucking lose honestly the writing of this character!!

‘What do I think?’ His voice seemed to come from a terribly long way away as he stared at those three grinning faces. ‘I think you should watch your mouth, you son of a fucking whore.’

GASPPPP JEZALLLL LMAO

Apart from the jaw, of course, and the money and the clothes, what was there to like?

Aw :( see what i meannnnn i dont rate him at all but i also love him wtfffff

‘God’s teeth, Ferro!’ snapped the old man suddenly. ‘I am old! Take pity on me! I may only have a few years left! Give the man the knife, before I die!’

Cacklingggggggg

you fucking gutless worm?’

Sorry the insults in this book are fucking JOKES

He was across the room in an instant. Ardee looked surprised, just for a moment, then there was a sharp click – his fist catching her in the face as she got up. She didn’t fall far. His hands caught her before she hit the ground, yanked her up then flung her back against the wall. ‘You’ll be the end of us!’ Her head smacked against the plaster – once, twice, three times. One hand grabbed hold of her neck.

OMG WHATTTTT i cant believe it?!!! Did not think west was this person hes beating the shit out of his sister wtf????

‘Ardee . . .’ One hand reached out to her, then he jerked it back, afraid of what it might do. ‘I’m sorry . . .’ ‘He was always sorry. Don’t you remember? He’d hold us and cry afterwards. Always sorry. But it never stopped him the next time. Have you forgotten?’ West gagged, choked back vomit again. If she’d wept, and ranted, and beat him with her fists, it would have been easier to bear. Anything but this. He tried never to think about it, but he hadn’t forgotten. ‘No,’ he whispered, ‘I remember.’

Fuccccccking hell so he grew up with abuse

I crept out of the house, I went back to the grave, I stood a while looking down . . . then I fucking pissed on it! I pulled up my shift, and I squatted down, and I pissed on him!

‘Stop your mouth, cunt.’

FERRO LMAO

The memory of that unfortunate meeting hung between them for a moment like a fart,

Sorry but that is just a hilarious way of describing it im cackling

Stretched out in bed like a corpse after I came back, in the darkness, waiting for friends who never came.

So freaking sad bro

‘I’ll do whatever I can for her, Collem, you can depend on me. I was once proud to call you my friend and . . . I would be again.’

Aw :(

The something rolled out, and the Dogman could see on the old boy’s face that he’d guessed right. Forley’s head.

Oh my god that poor poor boy

Back to the mud with you, Forley. We’re the poorer, and the ground’s the richer for it.’

CRYYYYY

Rather, he had an almost overpowering urge to take her in his arms, to stroke her hair, to murmur soothing words. Pathetic.

Oh logennnnn he is so in love w her it makes me sad

Woodpecker pecking, tap, tap, tap. Five. Six. Seven. Eight.

Fucking hellll ninefingers is tapped!!!!!!

Sult’s screech rose an entire octave higher.

Honestly his entire crashout is just the best scene everrrrr