If someone advises you behave in a certain way during your bereavement—suggesting, for example, that you really ought to find a new hobby to “take your mind off things”—you might respond, “Thank you for your concern, but that's really not helpful.” By being politely assertive, you not only help to curtail such remarks, but you can gain some measure of power during a time when you're probably feeling pretty powerless. You might even succeed in educating a few people.
