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Our premise is that many of the circumstances that seem to block us in our daily lives may only appear to do so based on a framework of assumptions we carry with us. Draw a different frame around the same set of circumstances and new pathways come into view.
He has unbounded energy to entice people to accomplish the
extraordinary and to see each venture through.
he plays persuasively on our minds and heartstrings through storytelling, humor, and music.
Our joint conviction is that much, much more is possible than people ordinarily think.
The long line is the possibility of seeing deeply into what is best for all of us, seeing the next step. Each chapter of the book offers a separate practice for realizing that vision.
It’s All Invented
A shoe factory sends two marketing scouts to a region of Africa to study the prospects for expanding business. One sends back a telegram saying, SITUATION HOPELESS STOP NO ONE WEARS SHOES The other writes back triumphantly,
GLORIOUS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY STOP THEY HAVE NO SHOES
“It’s all invented anyway, so we might as well invent a story or a framework of meaning that enhances our quality of life and the life of those around us.”
Every problem, every dilemma, every dead end we find ourselves facing in life, only appears unsolvable inside a particular frame or point of view. Enlarge the box, or create another frame around the data, and problems vanish, while new opportunities appear.
A simple way to practice it’s all invented is to ask yourself this question: What assumption am I making, That I’m not aware I’m making, That gives me what I see?
And when you have an answer to that question, ask yourself this one: What might I now invent, That I haven’t yet invented, That would give me other choices?
STEPPING INTO A Universe of Possibility
Competition is the vehicle to success, and metaphors based on competitive sports and war are applied to almost any situation.
life is about the struggle to survive and get ahead in a world of limited resources.
you are more likely to extend your business and have a fulfilled life if you have the attitude that there are always new customers out there waiting to be enrolled
resources are likely to come to you in greater abundance when you are generous and inclusive and engage people in your passion for life.
When you are oriented to abundance, you care less about being in control, and you take more risks.
In the measurement world, you set a goal and strive for it. In the universe of possibility, you set the context and let life unfold.
So, first, ask yourself: How are my thoughts and actions, in this moment, reflections of the measurement world? You look for thoughts and actions that reflect survival and scarcity, comparison and competition, attachment and anxiety.
Giving an A
It is a shift in attitude that makes it possible for you to speak freely about your own thoughts and feelings while, at the same time, you support others to be all they dream of being.
When you give an A, you find yourself speaking to people not from a place of measuring how they stack up against your standards, but from a place of respect that gives them room to realize themselves. Your eye is on the statue within the roughness of the uncut stone. This A is not an expectation to live up to, but a possibility to live into.
The practice of giving the A allows the teacher to line up with her students in their efforts to produce the outcome, rather than lining up with the standards against these students.
In the absence of a vision, we are each driven by our own agenda, finding people whose interests match ours, and inattentive to those with whom we appear to have little in common.
The lesson I learned is that the player who looks least engaged may be the most committed member of the group.
the secret is not to speak to a person’s cynicism, but to speak to her passion.
THE PRACTICE OF giving the A both invents and recognizes a universal desire in people to contribute to others, no matter how many barriers there are to its expression.
Good insight into teenagers.
Good note on relating to teens
Listen to Mahler's 9th Symphony and think of this story
Moving letter about reevaluating the past and giving someone an A
We keep looking so hard in life for the “specific message,” and yet we are blinded to the fact that the message is all around us, and within us all the time. We just have to stop demanding that it be on OUR terms or conditions,
Being a Contribution
Unlike success and failure, contribution has no other side.
All at once I found that the fearful question, “Is it enough?” and the even more fearful question, “Am I loved for who I am, or for
what I have accomplished?” could both be replaced by the joyful question, “How will I...
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In the game of contribution you wake up each day and bask in the notion that you are a gift to others.
Love the idea of contribution for me and anyone on my ram. Kind of like better ideas better results. But daily.
The purpose of describing, say, your professional life or your family traditions as a game is twofold. You instantly shift the context from one of survival to one of opportunity for growth.
Naming your activities as a game breaks their hold on you and puts you in charge.
Throw yourself into life as someone who makes a difference, accepting that you may not understand how or why.
After I experienced the joy of redefining my work as a place of contribution rather than an arena for my success,
I now ask them to take a moment in that class to write down how they have “contributed” over the past week.
Contribution team assignment
The assignment for the week after is to notice how they are a contribution as the
week goes by—they are just to notice, not to do anything about it—and
The third assignment is to cast themselves as a contribution into the week ahead, like a pebble into a pond, and imagine that everything they ...
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In order to be a great performer, you have to be unfettered by stage nerves. These exercises in contribution are a way of oiling the machinery to make one a more effective vehicle to convey the message
Exercise to address stage fright/nerves
NAMING ONESELF and others as a contribution produces a shift away from self-concern and engages us in a relationship with others that is an arena for making a difference.
