The mystery has been why. Why don’t kids shun aggressive peers? Why are so many aggressive kids socially central, and held in high regard? Two reasons. First, aggressive behavior, like many kinds of rule breaking, is interpreted by other kids as a willingness to defy grownups, which makes the aggressive child seem independent and older—highly coveted traits. The child who always conforms to adults’ expectations and follows their rules runs the risk of being seen as a wimp. The other reason aggressive kids can remain socially powerful is that—just as the less-aggressive kids aren’t
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