There is this crazy fear I have of being rejected by anyone—even people I don’t really care about. It’s always better to leave them first, cut all ties, and disappear. They can’t hurt me that way—no one can.
It’s amazing that Nic had the insight to see in himself what many of us (even as adults) don’t – how we hurt ourselves when we try to protect ourselves. I remember times I brought Nic to the airport to go to visit his mom in LA and also when he came back from visiting her. I remember him once saying, “I’m always missing someone.” No wonder he found ways to protect himself-that is, not to that feel. One was drugs.
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