it’s like there are two different people battling inside me. I want to be good, do good, be a worker among workers, a friend among friends. But there’s also this part of me that is so dissatisfied with everything. If I’m not living on the verge of death, I feel like I’m not really living. I’ve even been thinking about Lauren a little bit. I know she had problems, but at least I had a girlfriend. So far I haven’t met anyone that I could possibly have a relationship with. That is a big thing for me. I’ve always felt sort of worthless if I didn’t have a girlfriend.
