But everyone does follow these very specific teachings and doctrines. And, like any other cult, they have offered me a place to feel safe and a part of something whereas before I was anchorless and had no direction. But then I feel guilty questioning any of this—like I’m betraying them all. I guess I just struggle with belonging to any organization. I always feel like I should be able to do it on my own. My ego tells me I’m better than this twelve-step crap. I want to rebel against it, though of course, I don’t really have any options. If this doesn’t work for me, then nothing will and I’ll
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