Using is such a fucking ridiculous little circle of monotony. The more I use, the more I need to kill the pain, so the more I need to keep using. Pretty soon it seems like going back, facing all my shit, well, it’s just too goddamn overwhelming. I’d rather die than go through it. But for whatever reason—some tiny bit of hope or just pure stupidity—I go through the hell of detox and start trying to stay sober one more time.
