Tweak: Growing Up On Methamphetamines

by Nic Sheff

You’ve had all the good times you’re ever gonna have with meth, heroin, or any of that stuff. It just gets worse from here on out. But there is another way. I was no different, man. I was just like you. But today, man, I love my life. I love my life.” He grins with his big block teeth and steers the car fast around the steep mountain curves. I feel like maybe he means it. “So how do I get that?” I ask. “How do I start to love my life?” “By committing yourself to the program. By doin’ what I did—going to meetings, working the steps, and by helping other alcoholics and drug addicts so we don’t have to be thinking about ourselves all the time.” “But I tried all that before.” “Did you?” “I think so.” He smiles and I can see my reflection in his wraparound black sunglasses. “Did you work the steps? Did you commit to this thing with your whole life?” “Sort of.” “There is no sort of.” I drink from the coffee that Spencer bought me.