The Happiness Project

by Gretchen Rubin

This is my life—but I never give any thought to it. I wasn’t depressed and I wasn’t having a midlife crisis, but I was suffering from midlife malaise—a recurrent sense of discontent and almost a feeling of disbelief. “Can this be me?” I’d wonder as I picked up the morning newspapers or sat down to read my e-mail. “Can this be me?” My friends and I joked about the “beautiful house” feeling, when, as in the David Byrne song “Once in a Lifetime,” we’d periodically experience the shock of thinking “This is not my beautiful house.” “Is this really it?” I found myself wondering, and answering, “Yep, this is it.” But though at times I felt dissatisfied, that something was missing, I also never forgot how fortunate I was.