a husband may sow overspending, while his wife reaps the result by having to get a job, or by scrimping on food and other necessities to meet the family budget. Or a wife may sow careless housekeeping, while her husband reaps discomfort in his own home and embarrassment when company comes over. In either aspect, the problem is the same: The one who has the problem isn’t facing the effects of the problem. And things don’t change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it. This can range from mentioning how
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the cognitive dissonance is so obvious! I thought we weren’t supposed to let the spouse’s failures “affect” us! but suddenly, there are real consequences to a spouse’s lack of respect for their partner’s needs and rights, and NOW they’re supposed to do something about it?
