Don’t storm into the living room with a list of “how things are going to change around this house.” Tell your spouse you want your boundaries respected, and ask him if he feels his are being respected also. Let him know that you value and desire him to be free to say no, even if you don’t like the answer. Ask him some of the following questions: How might I be crossing your boundaries? Do you feel I respect your right to say no to me? Do I give you guilt messages, withdraw, or attack you when you set a limit? Will you let me know the next time I don’t respect your freedom? These humbling and
...more
this is a book written to the masses and therefore needs to make the most general statement in order to avoid confusion or overexplanation; that said, it is acceptable for a spouse to try to convince the other to do something. this is not manipulation on its face. “respect my no” is not an ironclad principle, and saying “no” isn’t a be-all end-all to most issues.
