A good marriage among two complete people is one in which they keep their individuality and space, and this actually serves to strengthen their relationship. After they have been apart, they come together and share each partner’s experience. Relishing these experiences with each other adds to intimacy. The problem marriage is one in which one partner sees time apart, separateness, and space as a threat. This spouse may feel that separateness means a lack of love, or abandonment. She can only feel loved when with the other person. For example, I counseled a couple in which the wife was very
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