In a marriage in which the individuals aren’t allowed to be different, things don’t go as well. Husbands and wives judge each other as “bad” for the preferences each one has. Or they take the difference as a personal affront or a lack of love. Simon had this problem with Jeri. Simon did not like the church that Jeri attended. He couldn’t connect with the services she found so exciting and meaningful. And she could not accept his preference. “It seems that if he really loved me, he would want to go to church with me,” she would say in our sessions. “I don’t know why he does this to me. He knows
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