Judy had been keeping away from some truths she needed to express—protests against Eric’s hurtfulness. These truths finally bubbled over in an intense reaction. Judy’s boundaries were reactive boundaries. Had Judy been less compliant, long ago she would have sat down with her husband and said, “Honey, you have a mean side, and it makes me distance myself from you. I love you, but I won’t subject myself to this treatment. I want you to work on this issue with me so that it doesn’t happen again.” This approach is proactive rather than reactive.
