We do not believe in an “out of the blue” marriage problem. So many times a spouse will say, “Everything was fine, and then he started being abusive,” or, “I thought we were okay until I found out about the affair.” This would not be possible if the marriage was a place for continual emotional investment, risk, vulnerability, and honesty. And in hindsight, many couples will say, “We now see the signs we missed before.” These signs generally have to do with things like Increasing withdrawal of need Unresolved differences the couple simply walks away from in resignation Preferences for others
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