If you find yourself enticed by withdrawal and avoidance, you can do the following to help you set boundaries on this tendency: Enlist the aid of your spouse. Ask her to let you know when she notices you pulling away. Ask her how it affects her. Does it hurt her? Make her lonely? Finding out how your avoidance influences others is a way to limit your disconnection. Discover why you withdraw. You could fear rejection, being controlled, or being judged. You could be punishing your spouse for hurting you. Understanding the reasons can help you set limits on the behavior. Say no to your tendency
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