Another part of the “you are not me” concept is the ability to see another person for who she is apart from what we want or need from her and to love and appreciate that person for who she is. To cherish someone’s existence apart from you and apart from what you get from that person is a neat aspect of love. It requires very good boundaries, the ability to see the other person as distinct and separate from you—a person in her own right, with value and wonderful things about her that have nothing to do with gratifying you in any way other than pure appreciation. This is the joy of just knowing
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