Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

by Byron Katie

The Work reveals that what you think shouldn’t have happened should have happened. It should have happened because it did, and no thinking in the world can change it. This doesn’t mean that you condone it or approve of it. It just means that you can see things without resistance and without the confusion of your inner struggle. No one wants their children to get sick, no one wants to be in a car accident; but when these things happen, how can it be helpful to mentally argue with them? We know better than to do that, yet we do it, because we don’t know how to stop.

Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business.

Katie: There’s no such thing as verbal abuse.

You are out of your mind if you really believe that

I’d be happy if I had my way.

Um, yeah. Who wouldn't be happy with that?

My body can never be a problem if my thinking is healthy.

You've obviously never had a chronic illness

Katie: Your parents had heart disease, and it sounds as though you’ve inherited a belief system that terrifies you. The doctors have told you that you have heart disease. And I’m inviting you to ask yourself today, “Can you really know that it’s true?” Harriet: Well…no. I can’t really know that. It could have changed in the last four minutes.

That's ridiculous. An angiogram and echo show you that it's true.

Isn’t it funny how we’re the last place we look? Always trying to change the projected rather than clear the projector. We haven’t known a way to do this until now.

Another possibility is that you’re inquiring with a motive. Are you asking the questions to prove that the answer you already have is valid, even though it’s painful? Do you want to be right more than you want to know the truth? It’s the truth that set me free. Acceptance, peace, and less attachment to a world of suffering are all effects of doing The Work. They’re not goals. Do The Work for the love of freedom, for the love of truth. If you’re inquiring with other motives, such as healing the body or solving a problem, your answers may be arising from old motives that never worked for you, and you’ll miss the wonder and grace of inquiry.