The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

by Gavin de Becker

We must learn and then teach our children that niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning. Like rapport-building, charm and the deceptive smile, unsolicited niceness often has a discoverable motive.

At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them.

Every human behavior can be explained by what precedes it, but that does not excuse it, and we must hold abusive men accountable.