The Demigod Files (Percy Jackson and the Olympians)

by Rick Riordan

You know how teachers tell you the magic word is please? That’s not true. The magic word is puke. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.

“Nothing to fear but fear itself.

It was hard for anyone to look cute in combat armor, but Annabeth pulled it off.

“Boys are easy to follow. They make more noise than a lovesick Minotaur.”

“If I was going to pick one person in the world to reattach my head,” I said, “I’d pick you.”

“That’s just one room,” Annabeth said. “There are probably hundreds of nurseries down here, decorated with treasure.” “It’s not important,” Silena insisted. “We have to find Charlie!” Another first: a child of Aphrodite uninterested in jewelry.

This time we did not yell, “For Hephaestus!” We yelled, “Heeeeelp!”

Beckendorf, whose legs were now working fine (nothing like being chased by a huge monster to get your body back in order)

Its head creaked as it looked down at me. It seemed more confused than angry, like, Why did you cut off my toe?

Annabeth’s smile was a lot nicer than that stupid dragon’s.

Well, I don’t call him that because he’s so bright, do I? I mean he’s not dumb. He’s actually pretty intelligent, but he acts so dumb sometimes. I wonder if he does it just to annoy me. The guy has a lot going for him. He’s courageous. He’s got a sense of humor. He’s good-looking, but don’t you dare tell him I said that.

It’s amazing there are any nice spots left, but I like Lake Placid in upstate New York. Very beautiful, especially on a winter day! And the dryads up there—wow! Oh, wait, can you edit that part out? Juniper will kill me.

Our English teacher, Dr. Boring (I’m not kidding; that’s his real name),

“He’s handy with zombie crowds,” Thalia admitted. “Think I’ll take him along next time I go to the mall.”

“Iapetus shall crush you!” one shouted. “Who?” I asked. Then I ran her through with my sword. Note to self: If you vaporize monsters, they can’t answer your questions.

They weren’t thrilled about lugging Bob the Titan too, but I didn’t have the heart to leave him behind, especially after he noticed my shoulder wound, said, “Owie,” and healed it with a touch.