The Other End of the Leash: Why We Do What We Do Around Dogs

by Patricia B. McConnell

The best way to get a dog to come to you is to turn away from him and move in the opposite direction (which is actually “toward you” from the standpoint of the dog).

you cock your head, you are signaling to a dog that you’re relaxed, which can go a long way toward relaxing the dog as well.

Never Repeat a Command. Never Repeat a Command. Never Repeat …

The general rule is to use short, repeated notes to encourage activity and one single note to discourage it.

high sounds are associated with excitement, immaturity, or fear, while lower sounds are associated with authority, threat, or aggression.

But just because something is childlike and joyful doesn’t mean that it is trivial, because how you play with your dog has serious implications. The safest way to play with your dog is to play fetch together, to play mental games like “hide-and-seek” (a great way to keep your adolescent dog busy while you make dinner), to play discrimination games (“Go get your big chewy”), and to teach your dog silly, lighthearted tricks. Leave the play fighting for well-matched individuals of the same species, so your play sessions with your dog always end in joy and laughter rather than tears and heartbreak.

Dogs, like people, are born with different personalities, and some dogs need to learn frustration tolerance more than others.

It’s a lot easier to stop catering to your dog when you’re aware that, after about three years of age, she is a mature adult and perfectly capable of the emotional control that is necessary in all social animals.

But we can’t expect dogs to be well behaved if they spend most of the day and all of the night in a crate, with a fifteen-minute-long leash walk as the highlight of their day.

All my dogs know “Enough,” which means to stop whatever they’re doing (like asking for petting or bugging me with the ball) and leave me in peace. It’s easy to teach, and it’s a wonderful way to let your dog know that as much as you love her, it’s still your life. All you need to do is to say “Enough” in a low, quiet voice and then pat her briskly on the head two times. If she doesn’t go away (which most dogs won’t the first several times you do this), stand up and walk your dog away from the couch a few feet, using your body-blocking skills to back her away. Cross your arms and turn your head away to the side as you sit back down. If she comes right back as you sit down, “pat pat” on her head again and body-block her away a second time. When she returns, be sure to do a “look away” so that you’re not making eye contact. (I’m always amused at how often we humans tell our dogs to go away and yet continue to make eye contact with them. Meanwhile, the dog is desperately looking at your face, trying to find the cue to what the heck it is that you’re trying to communicate. If you turn your head away from your dog, you’re saying that your interaction is over, and many dogs will seemingly understand and go away. If you keep staring at him, using words to tell him to go away, he’ll keep staring back at you, sure that you are trying to visually communicate something important and desperately trying to figure out what it is by looking at your face.)