The Other End of the Leash: Why We Do What We Do Around Dogs

by Patricia B. McConnell

It’s not aggressive or threatening, it’s just mildly aversive, so both dogs and wolves decide to go elsewhere

I don’t pet Luke if he nudges me. I am careful to pet him when he’s being polite instead of pushy. Sometimes when he mugs me for massages, I turn my head away, careful to keep my nose up like a valley girl so that I look dismissive rather than coy. When I really want to pet him but he’s being a pest, I ask him to do something, like “sit” or “bow,” so that I can pet him as a reinforcement for good behavior rather than bad.

You can also help your dog learn to stop pestering you and entertain himself by giving him a hollow toy stuffed with food after he goes to settle down. Don’t leap up and give him a chew toy the instant that he comes over to beg. That’s just teaching him that begging is even more productive than he thought. Rather, say “Enough” when he scratches at your leg (or whatever his version of making demands is) and body-block him away. Once he lies down and settles himself, get up (stay quiet, no need to talk) and give him the toy stuffed with treats that you efficiently have stored in the kitchen for just this very moment. Put it down right where he had settled, even if he’s gotten up to follow you out of the room.

you can get your dog to pay more attention to you if you radiate quiet confidence rather than using a loud voice all the time. Be thoughtful about what you say to your dog and teach yourself to go closer to your dog to get his attention rather than raising your voice from a distance away.

If your dog is doing something that you don’t want her to do, your job is to do two things. First, stop her from doing what she’s doing by startling her. You don’t have to hurt her or terrorize her, just interrupt her by making a noise that evokes what is called the mammalian startle response. If you slap the wall or the table, drop a paperback book, or toss an empty pop can with a few pennies in it on the floor, she should momentarily look up to see what the noise was about. Like lightning, you’re going to take advantage of her attention and redirect it onto doing what you want her to do.

Say “No” in a low, quiet voice and immediately make a sound to startle her. In the microsecond that she looks up, say “Good girl” to praise her for stopping what she was doing, smooch or click your tongue to keep her attention on you, and then redirect her attention to something more appropriate. The key is to be prepared to take advantage of that half a second (or less) of attention that you’re going to get when she looks up.

interrupt the problem behavior and immediately redirect it to something else.

if your dog is absolutely committed to what she’s doing—say, barking out the window at the neighbor’s mutt who loves to taunt her—then there’s probably no sound you can make that’s going to get her attention. In cases like that, give up trying to get louder and louder from across the room and go over closer to her. I like to lure dogs away from contexts like that with a treat held right up to their nose, like luring a donkey with a carrot, and then ask them to do something else when they’re away from all the excitement. In some cases dogs are so excited that it helps to quietly put their leash on and use that and food lures to help them move away from the focus of their attention. Then ask your dog to “Sit pretty” or “Go get your big ball” or “Go upstairs and wake up____” (fill in the name of that other person in the house who always lets you get up to take the dog out).

when your dog is doing something wrong, say “No” quietly, use another sound to startle him to get his attention, and then redirect him on to doing something that he should be doing.

Luke is that one-in-a-million dog that most people never get, even dog trainers and breeders who’ve known hundreds of dogs. Every once in a while, someone will come up to me in a seminar and start talking about their Luke-equivalent, a dog who is so special that they can’t talk about him without getting tears in their eyes.