The Other End of the Leash: Why We Do What We Do Around Dogs

by Patricia B. McConnell

My nieces call these pats “happy slappies.” They coined the phrase after coming to watch a taping of “Petline,” an animal behavior advice show on Animal Planet that I cohosted with my ex-husband Doug McConnell. They were visiting the set and watched in horror as a guest veterinarian swooped into the studio dressed like a Las Vegas showgirl. She deposited her tiny dog onto the rug, where he promptly urinated, defecated, and almost killed a visiting cockatiel while she changed into what became known as the “killer bee outfit.” Clothed in yellow-and-black striped Lycra (the producer eventually forced her to change), she asked to borrow my Luke for a demonstration of brushing a dog’s teeth. Luke is a trooper, so I said sure. Luke had to sit and stay on top of a table while directors, four cameramen, and the usual herd of assistant producers swirled around getting ready to tape. Finally it was time to roll the cameras. Our guest veterinarian explained to the audience the importance of brushing a dog’s teeth, and then, without so much as a word or a friendly touch, grabbed Luke’s mouth and opened it as you’d open up your purse on a busy, hot day when you can’t find your wallet. Luke’s eyes got huge while I soundlessly mouthed “Good boy, good boy” and held out my hand in the universal “stay” signal behind the camera. After abusing Luke’s mouth for a couple of minutes (I’d have bitten my own dentist if he’d been that rude), she turned to Luke and slapped him twice on top of the he...