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W omen can look so innocent. And a few of them might be. Innocent, I mean. Most aren’t. Most have secrets. Pretty big ones, if I do say so myself. They silently nurture raging passions they’ve smothered for years because life has insisted they do so. They hide who they truly are because they’re in a box and no one in their families would feel comfortable if they broke out of that box like a rose on speed.
Women can smile and be gracious and kind. And most women usually are. Gracious and kind, I mean. But to assume that a woman, any woman, is completely innocent is to be completely naïve.
You have traveled to keep persnickety, picky clients happy all over the world who would only be satisfied if you brought them Pluto.
Losing my mother was like losing light. And warmth. And joy.
“You are to dance when I say dance and to fly when I say fly. You are to sing when I say sing and to scream when I say scream. You are to create when I say to create. You are to be, above all, honest with yourself and with others. No prayers, no religious talk allowed here, no telling other people that they have to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior or they’re going to hell.”
my mother also died recently. I miss her more than I would miss my own heart.
I know something valuable: The reason I am in the position I am is because of luck, pure and simple. People get so snotty about their stations in life, the money they have, the homes, the toys, but what it mostly boils down to is luck. I was lucky to be born in America and not in a war zone in Somalia or Afghanistan. I was lucky to have loving parents not
strung out on drugs. I was lucky to have a father who worked hard and provided for his family even after he died. I was lucky to have a mother who insisted I drag my rear through college. I might also mention that I have had plenty of food, water, electricity, and plumbing in my life. I was not lucky in other parts of my life, but the ability to make a living, to make money, and to have opportunities was all luck.
I am relishing my nervous breakdown!
I wondered if he were the type of man who said, “I love you” a lot to the woman in his life or if he simply showed her. I had a feeling he was a “shower” which meant he would get laid a lot. Men don’t get that. The getting laid thing. They think that the words “I love you” are hot foreplay. Those words are nice to hear if you think the person truly loves you and you trust him and the relationship and your future and you know that the sex you’re going to have is healthy and right and he’ll be there in the morning and the next morning after that, and the morning you’re passing a kidney stone or
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But you can always tell if a man is truly and deeply in love with a woman by his actions. For example, if a man spent hours hand-cleaning the oven because he knew it was a mess and he knew his wife hated doing the job and he hated it, too, but he did it anyhow, I would know that that man was absolutely crazy about his wife. Or, if a man went with his wife to visit an elderly relative in a nursing home once a week or if he built her a picnic table so she could watercolor outside, I would know there was bucketfuls of love there. You see, the words I Love You are only words. Three of them strung
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If you have worked your buttocks off for years and you suddenly find yourself in the position of being able to work for yourself or at home, or maybe not even working at all (by choice), it is almost unbearably impossible to put yourself back in the position of working those hideous hours again with strange, mind-boggling people you would not normally want to hang out with unless forced to by a gun.
“Oregon is quirky. The other day I saw a man bicycling down the street dressed in a pink sweatsuit. He was wearing purple glittering wings on his back. I found this fascinating and stared at him. No one else in the café where I sat looked at him for more than a second. They did not feel it was unusual. It was only me. That’s Oregon. “It is considered in bad taste to flaunt money, although some newly monied people don’t get it and the ones with true money find them classless. Having a nice home, although not a McMan-sion, is acceptable. Cars should not flash. Bragging about your money is
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“Oregonians have a live and let live attitude-for the most part. You have a large slice of the population that is liberal. That’s mostly in the city. You have an equally large portion of the state that is conservative. Mostly in the rural areas and small towns. But there are flaming liberals in Eastern Oregon and rock-hard conservatives smack in the city, too. The two Oregons often clash. The environment vs. jobs. Pro choice vs. antiabortion. Acceptance of gay marriage and loud opposition to it. My job will be to figure out how you can reach both Oregons without compromising your ideas and
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So this is what I’ve learned about grief: You absolutely, positively cannot outrun grief. It will bring you to your knees and it will shove you to the ground face-first and there you will lay. You will not be able to get up until your tears are out, so cry and get it over with.
“We don’t learn through success, we learn through mess. We don’t learn through joy, we learn through hardship. We don’t learn through the easy times, we learn when we’re at rock bottom, flailing around, trying to stand up again.”
“I loved her more than life, honey, more than life.” We said good-bye because there was nothing more to say. Grief can be a silencer. A deep, pervasive silencer. And left hanging in the silence is a bleak, lonely void.
