How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

by Leil Lowndes

"And your body! The way you move is your autobiography in motion."

great posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze." It's the ideal image for somebody who's a Somebody.

women who were slower to smile in corporate life were perceived as more credible."

big, warm smile is an asset. But only when it comes a little slower, because then it has more credibility."

In addition to awakening feelings of respect and affection, maintaining strong eye contact gives you the impression of being an intelligent and abstract thinker.

"great posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze." The ideal image for somebody who's a Somebody.

The secret to making people like you is showing how much you like them!

When you act as though you like someone, you start to really like them.

you ever want to bring people around to your thoughts, you must match their mood and voice tone, if only for a moment.

How do you put people at ease? By convincing them they are OK and that the two of you are similar. When you do that, you break down walls of fear, suspicion, and mistrust.

Anything you say is fine as long as it is not complaining, rude, or unpleasant.

Whenever you go to a gathering, wear or carry something unusual to give people who find you the delightful stranger across the crowded room an excuse to approach.

Never, ever, give just a one-sentence response to the question, "Where are you from?"

man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next."

learn so much more if I ask about their life. I always try to turn the spotlight on the other person."

The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting he or she finds you.

Like a parrot, simply repeat the last few words your conversation partner says. That puts the ball right back in his or her court, and then all you need to do is listen.

Knowing the big-deal news of the moment is also a defensive move that rescues you from putting your foot in your mouth by asking what everybody's talking about.

85 percent of one's success in life is directly due to communications skills.

communications skills get people to the top.

sure sign you're a Somebody is the conspicuous absence of the question, "What do you do?"

"How . . . do . . . you . . . spend . . . most . . . of . . . your . . . time?"

"Kill the Quick 'Me, Too!'" Whenever people mention an activity or interest you share, let them enjoy discussing their passion.

Start every appropriate sentence with you.

Try to make your similes relate to the situation.

Never, ever, make a joke at anyone else's expense. You'll wind up paying for it, dearly.

Whenever someone persists in questioning you on an unwelcome subject, simply repeat your original response.

Never let the phrase "thank you" stand alone.

To show respect and make people feel close to you, Echo their words.

Elicit intimate feelings by using the magic words we, us, and our.

A compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he overhears. A priceless way to praise is not by telephone, not by telegraph, but by tell-a-friend.

you must praise people the moment they finish a feat.

Whenever someone shines a little sunshine on your life in the form of a compliment or concerned question, reflect it back on the shiner.

Ask the important people in your life what they would like engraved on their tombstone.

calling. Use the "Oh Wow, It's You!" technique on almost every call.

Home advice: Salute the Spouse. Office advice: Salute the Secretary.

Whenever you place a call, always—not occasionally, not frequently—always ask about your timing.

When standing at a gathering, arrange your body in an open position—

position yourself near a doorway since everyone must pass your way at some point in the evening.

big boys and big girls see no bloopers, hear no bloopers.

nobody likes to be reminded of their own human frailty.

When asking someone for a favor, let them know how much it means to you.

Whenever you suggest a meeting or ask a favor, divulge the respective benefits. Reveal what's in it for you and what's in it for the other person—even if it's zip.

Parties are for pleasantries and good fellowship, not for confrontations.

If you need information, let people have their entire say first.

Facts speak. Emotions shout. Whenever you need facts from people about an emotional situation, let them emote.

Whenever you make a boner, make sure your victim benefits.

Whenever you catch someone lying, filching, exaggerating, distorting, or deceiving, don't confront the dirty duck directly.

Be the first clapper no matter how small the crowd,

Any two people have an invisible scorecard hovering above their heads.