A Confederacy of Dunces

by John Kennedy Toole

I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip."

(See Reilly, Ignatius J., Blood on Their Hands: The Crime of It All, A study of some selected abuses in sixteenth-century Europe, a Monograph, 2 pages, 1950, Rare Book Room, Left Corridor, Third Floor, Howard-Tilton Memorial Library, Tulane University, New Orleans 18, Louisiana. Note: I mailed this singular monograph to the library as a gift; however, I am not really certain that it was ever accepted. It may well have been thrown out because it was only written in pencil on tablet paper.)

Self-referencing delusional asshole.

"Do I believe the total perversion that I am witnessing?" Ignatius screamed from the parlor. The music had a frantic, tribal rhythm; a chorus

"A firm rule must be imposed upon our nation before it destroys itself. The United States needs some theology and geometry, some taste and decency. I suspect that we are teetering on the edge of the abyss."

"I want a brunette wig. That way I can change my personality."

"A day?" Ignatius repeated disbelievingly. "A day? I can't waste a valuable day. I have places to go and people to see."

You think color peoples get grossries and clothin at a specia price?

"You gotta be careful in life." "Ain't that the truth. Me, I'm always careful." "Me, too. It pays to be careful." "It sure does. That's what Ignatius said just the other day," Mrs. Reilly lied. "He says to me, `Momma, it sure pays to be careful, don't it? And I says to him, `That's right, son. Take care."' "That's good advice."

Sojourn

You may skip the Renaissance and the Enlightenment. That is mostly dangerous propaganda. Now that I think of it, you had better skip the Romantics and the Victorians, too. For the contemporary period, you should study some selected comic books."

But still I listened to the counsel of my brain. It was offering me the opportunity to Save the World Through Degeneracy.