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He has pretty privilege, he must.
Find a purpose. As if that was the easiest thing in the world. To find a purpose when everyone around you already found theirs.
I was born to satiate. I tasted like fucking vanilla cream pudding.
Only in my dreams could I envision feeling that way towards someone; only in my dreams would those feelings be reciprocated.
Maybe I fell in love with the potential of people, not who they really were.
Must be nice, I thought. To enjoy things without looking too deeply as to why you enjoyed them, why they existed – why they made you happy.
Good enough to fuck,” I stated. “Not good enough to love,” I accepted.
That’s when the realization hit me that everything about him was a façade. I don’t know what did it, what clicked in my brain, but I felt more alone in that moment than I had in so long.
The closer you got to someone, the more you saw. Layers of skin peeled back to reveal something enthralling, something fascinating.
It should be illegal to look like that. Why the fuck was I saying that in my head?
could be the greatest person, perform the grandest gestures, but if that someone never valued the love you showed them in the first place, they never would.
What I’m saying is, Jace sometimes you meet someone and you don’t understand the tie you two have. Sometimes you fall for the wrong reasons and sometimes the right ones.
We did it wrong,” I admitted out loud, before I could tie my words back and shove it in a net. His gaze softened as he whispered, “But at least we did it.”
“Weren’t you the one who told me that beauty is all around, if you only looked for it?”
I was never a priority, never first. I satisfied him, but I was never enough to fulfill him.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t ready to love you, even though my heart wanted to.”
“People who live with BPD often experience obsessive tendencies when connecting with those they’re intrigued by. It was a normal response, Beatrice.”
“From what I learned about you, Beatrice, you’ve always felt like you needed to please other people so they wouldn’t leave.
