The Fine Print (Dreamland Billionaires, #1)

by Lauren Asher

To the girls who dream of meeting a prince but end up falling for the misunderstood villain.

YES MAAM

“Can you try to be nicer for one more hour? At least until all the important people leave?” “This is me trying.” My left eye twitches as I press my lips together.

He's so me-

I choke back a laugh. Sweet and little are the last words I’d use to describe myself since I’m as tall as an NBA player with the emotional range of a rock, but Grandpa was blissfully ignorant. It was the best thing about him and the absolute worst depending on the situation.

ik he would have been the best character.

“Losing my dignity?” I give him a once-over. “That still exists?” Cal flips me off.

LMAO. Wait tf up, are the other books about his brothers?

“You know babies are created by having sex, right? Is that something your internal software is capable of learning?”

…… Im liking this book.

Because if there’s one lesson we learned from Seth Kane, it’s that love may come and go, but hate lasts forever.

A younger brunette woman slides through the small crack before shutting it softly behind her. I look down at my watch. Who is she and why is she twenty minutes late? She clutches onto a neon pink Penny skateboard with one golden brown arm as she scans the packed room. I take advantage of her distraction to assess her. She’s beautiful in a way that makes it difficult to refocus my attention on the conversation at the front of the room. I hate it yet I can’t look away. My eyes trace the curves of her body, drawing a path from her delicate throat to her thick thighs. The speed of my heart picks up. I clench my hands into two fists, disliking the lack of control I have over my body. Get ahold of yourself.

WHEN HE FALLS FIRSR>>>>>>

There’s something about the look on her face that has my heart racing faster in my chest. Beautiful. Carefree. Innocent.

cdgugDWFHUBVFY

That is until he opens his mouth.

THE ILY BUT YOU'RE ASSHOLE SO I HATE YOU TROPE?!????!??

The only kingdom that man resides in is hell and I’m not interested in visiting.

It’s like she shits sprinkles and consumes rainbows for sustenance. I’m not sure what kind of fairy tale forest she was raised in, but no one can be this optimistic about everything.

“Sounds like an excuse.” I shrug. He rubs his eyebrow with his middle finger.

LMFAO ILT

“There are no standards in this process because it’s a contractual obligation. All I care about is finding someone who’s practical, fertile, and has a face considered proportionate enough to be deemed attractive.” Cal grins. “With that kind of charm, I bet you’ll be walking down the aisle in no time.” Declan shoots a withering glare into the camera. “Will I be your best man? Before you decide, think about it. Rowan wouldn’t know the first thing about planning a bachelor party. He considers puffing cigars at your house a good time.” “That’s because it is a good time.” “Think about it. I’m talking Vegas. Buffets. Strip clubs. Casinos.” Cal ticks off each on his fingers. “If you’re trying to sell me on this, you lost me at Vegas.” I laugh. “Declan’s happy place happens to be the four walls of his home.” Cal rubs his stubbled chin. “Okay. I’ll compromise and bring Vegas to you.” “Neither of you will be my best man because I’m eloping.” Cal scoffs. “You and Rowan are so boring it’s no wonder you get along so well. Only you would skip out on a massive party to elope.”

LMAO SIBLINGV TRIOS>>>

Oh my God. Is he attracted to me? As if he has the same thought, his lips press into a thin line. My scoff becomes a full-blown belly laugh as I curl over. He blinks a couple of times, erasing the look of darkness from his eyes.

LMFAO STOP IM FUCKING CACKLING RN-

She grins. “Don’t worry. I took it easy on him. I laid on the fake tears and he broke down quicker than a McDonald’s ice cream machine.”

NBAGHBABASHBA TRUE THO

What if jerks are my kink? Well, at least it explains your unhealthy obsession with Mr. Darcy.

PLS IDK THIS DESCRIBES THE READING COMMUNITY

“You better have a massive dick to back up that attitude or else people will be mighty disappointed.” “Care to bring out a ruler and test your theory?” “I left my magnifying glass at home, so maybe tomorrow.” I’m pretty sure the angel on my shoulder has left the building. Something shifts between us. His eyes darken as they assess me. I’m not sure if he wants to choke me, fire me, or fuck me into submission. “Are you always this impossible?” “I don’t know. Are you always this much of an asshole?” One second he’s scowling at me and the next his lips are slamming into mine.

IM ECREAMIGN BEFVHRWRTVVFUIS OMHOMVOGMOGMGOGMHOMG YESYVJHHBVIHOULITE

I write PAY ATTENTION across the top of his paper. He draws the wonkiest middle finger, and I scribble below it. That’s one small dick. Is it yours?

BASGABAHABAGJA

He’s the Devil, Zahra. Well, that explains why Eve fell for his tricks. If the Devil looked half as good as Rowan, I’d eat the damn apple too. Screw the consequences.

He shoots me a bored expression. “Take a breath. I’m not in the mood to call an ambulance when you pass out and crack your head open.” “How dare I consider for a second that you would catch me before that happens.” “That requires caring and I’m fresh out of fucks to give.”

ILTSM OMFG YALL VCRAGAEYGADGVSAIUYVTYU

Me: Because life isn’t always rainbows and sunshine. Zahra: Of course not. But how can we appreciate the sun every morning if we don’t live through the dark?

She’s disgustingly friendly

LMAO

“She looks at you like she wants to have your babies.” I choke on my sudden intake of air. My fist pounds against my chest as I take a deep inhale. “I definitely don’t think that’s true.” “You’re right. I wanted to see your reaction.” She shrugs.

BASHBASNYGBVABH

Me: For you, I’d consider it. And I mean every word.

I update his contact information while I wait for his response. Lucifer:

LMFAO. Okay I'm actually sleeping now, bye.

Lucifer: This old dog has plenty of tricks he could teach you. Did he make a sexual joke? My whole body burns from his reply, and I can’t come to grips with his shift in personality. Rowan replies again before I have a chance to move past my shock. Lucifer: That was highly inappropriate. Me: I think your phone has been hacked. Lucifer: I can assure you it hasn’t, but I can’t say the same about my brain. I tend to do stupid things around you.

TFRRYDUTVTYSTETOITIE6PH

“I thought you didn’t care?” “Hmm. Maybe I found some fucks to give after all.”

AHAHSHAHZCUSAIOASI

“You don’t want me to help you with that problem?” “Take a man out to dinner first.” “Does my pussy count?” “Fuck.”

VDfusdsdytsqiza Tbh, I read smut sm that I got sick of it. It feels weird to read now.

Because I’m going on a date tomorrow with Rowan Don’t-Know-What-the-G-Stands-For-Yet Kane.

LMAO

He blinks up at the ceiling with a hazy gaze. “This is highly inappropriate for a car.”

LMAO

“If I had a heart to give, it would be all yours. Free of cost.” My spine tingles, and it has nothing to do with his hand running down my back. I want to tell him he has a heart, but the words get stuck in my throat. So instead, I soak in whatever kind of affection Rowan is willing to share.

JVDHKVRTHGYRDIU MY BABIES BVCGYTYDKUYT

“Damn. Rowan might not speak much but when he does—” Cal does a chef’s kiss. “Poetry.”

CAL >>>>> EVERYONE

“I wanted to say that although you might be considered a good businessman, you’ve done it at the expense of being a terrible, verbally abusive father. And one day you’re going to look back on your life and regret the way you treated your children, and I hope it hurts you as much as you hurt them. So fuck you and fuck off.” I swivel on my heel and catch Martha staring at me with a big grin and a thumbs-up. I’m sure to blow her a kiss on my way out the door while using my other hand to give Seth Kane the middle finger.

I'm in love.

Zahra’s it for me. I know it with everything in me, and my intuition has never been wrong before. There’s nothing in the world I’ll find more beautiful than her. Not the sun. Not the moon. Not even the entire galaxy compares to the light she radiates wherever she goes.

*Sobs in a corner*