After Rain Falls (River of Rain, #2)

by C.E. Ricci

“There was a point in my life when I thought your cum was the sweetest thing I’d ever tasted.” I grind the words out, desperate to gain control over the war inside me. Giving in to my desire to kiss and hold and fucking love him is the last thing I can do right now. “But I was wrong, baby. I think I prefer the taste of your tears.”

I’m broken, down to the point where I’m unrecognizable to even myself.

I already am alone. So fucking alone, and the silence is deafening. Even in a crowd of people, I feel it. Alone. Abandoned. Forgotten. Numb.

“You didn’t hurt me,” I whisper, turning my head to find his mouth. A lone tear slips down my cheek, hidden by darkness as I utter the most honest words I’ve ever spoken against his lips, “You destroyed me.”

“People only obsess over each other when things between them are left unfinished.”

“Are you going to be able to live with yourself after this? Because baby, as much as I hate this... I have to fucking quit you.”

“This goes so much deeper than need and desire. The way I ache for you? It’s fucking toxic.”

“Damn fucking right you’re mine,” he pants, building speed as he grinds into me on every downstroke. My fingers dig in, holding him in place as I take my turn to thrust up into him in hard, greedy pumps.

“You’re everything. Fucking everything,” I whisper against his mouth. “Chuisle mo chroí.”

“‘Power Over Me.’ Dermot Kennedy,”

I hate that once again, we’ve proven we’re nothing but an almost. Almost…everything.

It’s hilarious to the point where I want to laugh, but I can’t. Because this is my life and the person I love being thrown into the equation. The person I’ve battled for, gone to war for, and it still manages to feel as if I’m the only one fighting.

“River,” he gasps,

“Rain,” I whisper.

“I might have you, but you own me. Every inch. Every thought. Every moment of every day, Abhainn. You own me.”

He’s mine. Only mine. Just like I’m his. And I know now, we’re no longer an almost. We’re everything.

“You might be the muse, but there’s no reason you can’t also be the canvas.”

“What song?”

“In a shocking turn of events,”

“I lied. You can expect this question every damn day for the foreseeable future. So spill.”

“’Follow You’ by Bring Me The Horizon.”

I cough once. Twice. Blood fills my mouth on the third and a tear slips from my eyes. “I don’t want to die,” I whisper, the waiver in my voice giving away my fear.

“You’re not going to, River. Don’t fucking say that. Help will be here any minute.”

“We said”—I wheeze—“no more lies.”

“But this isn’t it, mo grá. This isn’t fucking it. We can’t end like this. We didn’t have enough time.”

“River, please. Please. You don’t get to leave me. Goddammit, don’t you dare fucking leave me, Abhainn. We said forever. We made each other that promise. And this? It isn’t forever. Not even close. ”

“I love you. Jesus fuck, I love you. You can’t leave me.”

My hand, the one that is still cupped inside his, tremors as I attempt to tap my finger against his palm three times.

One. Two. Three. I. Love. You. I hope I did it so he can feel it. So he can kno...

He’s the forever I didn’t know I wanted, even if we won’t get it now. He has to know that.

“I love you. I love you. I fucking love you,” he cries,

Forever, Rain.

“Goddammit, no! River, look at me!”

“Look at me, mo grá. Stay here. I need you to stay!”

He was shot. Twice. Because. Of. Me. And now he’s dying in my fucking arms and I can’t do anything to stop it.

“You die, I die too,”

“I go where you go, River. That’s what forever means.”

As I move to grab his hand, my newest tattoo peeks out from under my sleeve. The one I got under his name. You keep me safe.

It matches the one on his own inner wrist. You keep me wild.